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Friday
Goods are Here
You might need Windows Media Player.
** SERIOUSLY! ** - You might need to hit <REFRESH> on your browser to see new material.
You might need Windows Media Player.
** SERIOUSLY! ** - You might need to hit <REFRESH> on your browser to see new material.
Took me a little while, but I got the train video from two friggin' weeks ago updated. (Train's a Comin'! if you missed it.) Wish I could say that won't ever happen again. Thank you all for taking the time to let me know - hopefully I will be on top of it next time.
The old show (AFV) spawned a generation of home camera users to film little children hitting people on the heads with shovels, rather than dropping the camera to intiate discipline, and you have to commend them for that. Say what you want about the quality of the show and the material, but keep in mind that every 20 minutes of footage shown is culled down from several thousand hours of pure garbage. So it's official: the worst job in the world is "clip finder" at AFV.
Fix bayonetes, check grenades! Got enough bullets?! Got enough rounds to - wipe out this place? We're the infantry, and the calvary! Parachutes fill the sky as bodies burn and people die! (Happy Friday to ya'll from the Circle Jerks.)
Also - I fixed the "Audi" ad from last week... only took me 168 hours to get to it.
The Superbowl Commercial: it used to be such a big deal. Now the expectations are too high. It's a television commercial, people - just settle down. Mildly entertaining, maybe, but let's not go out of our way to talk about it on Monday, 'kay? This first clip is for all of my friends and acquaintances who are in this (advertising / design / client-driven creative projects) business, too - Doug, Ace, Kristy, Jen - I know you will identify - as will many others. Cheers!
Right now, I'm getting kicked - so I'm outta here.
So this is another single sentence subheading.
I'm outta here.
I gotta go - late for work.
Here's hoping 2010 brings you all you desire.
I have evaded the first clip here because I received it so many times. Usually when I receive a clip multiple times, I hesitate to put it up because I think everyone has already seen it. But then, it keeps coming in, and the only thing to do is put it up so people know I did indeed receive it. Thank you everyone for sending it in - I don't want you to think I'm ungrateful. And thank you to Greg Fisher - he's right - it wouldn't be the holidays without Ding Fries Are Done, but to me, the best and brightest Christmas Holiday Clip is the Eggnog Contest From Jackass - it still brings a tear to my eye. Last Year's Jingle Drunks was pretty good, too.
So, I just had a vasectomy on Wednesday and I'm not allowed to have any sex for 10 days. "With anyone," my doctor instructed, "including yourself." So, here's some clips about tits, etc. [RE: Operating Room Technique - thank you Steve Clark. It's from a series called Man Stroke Woman.]
(LANGUAGE SORTA)So, thank you. Really - thanks for everything. I appreciate you all taking the time to send things in, and comment about mistakes you find, etc. I'm working on a "test site" right now - built with Wordpress, in an effort to take advantage of more modern enhancements and user-friendly options. Stay tuned.
I'm behind a couple weeks, in nearly every aspect of my life. Guys should start at the bottom of this Friday's list and go up; women at the top and go down.
(LANGUAGE)Another quickie - I'm outta here.
(NUDITY SORTA)(TITS)Quick & easy today. Thank a VET!
Alright - it's the time of year for spooks and chills, but I am going to warn you right now: if you watch this goddamn video, your life is going to change. Maybe for the better, I don't know - but ever since I saw an "Unknown Russian Soldier" get his throat ventilated with a Chechen Hunting Knife many years ago, my life has been a little different. It freaked me out, man - and this crazy-assed video from some "Unknown Arab Country" is no different: your brain will be branded with this image. Try and drink it off - and it will only re-emerge during your hangover, I assure you. You have been warned.
(GRUESOME)Italian Prime Minister Berlusconi brings fun and good times to the position of power.
I failed to update the page before leaving for Japan last week - so we missed a Friday there - sorry about that.
(NUDITY)The "Born to be Alive" bit here is one of my all-time favorites. It's been a while since we've had some good nudity on this page. - Thanks to Friday Page Buddy Greg Fisher for sending it!
(NUDITY)Sorry if you received the message that the site is not available. As of Saturday morning (09/26) it is back up. Now, if you had us on twitter, you would be all OVER this info! Anyway, last week the first clip "READ ME" is incorrect - read the second one to get the REAL scoop. Why did someone make up the stupid woodpecker story? Thank you to Henry S. for pointing this out.
So the name's Karlin with a 'K', right?
This first clip gives me goose bumps every time I see it. The whole tax day revolution is over, but the message still lives on. Americans need to believe in something now. Freedom, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness - these are all good places to start. If you need convincing, the last link today should be a solemn reminder. If a clip stalls, give it another shot - sometimes traffic makes the site lag.
And neither should you.
Fantasy Football draft this weekend. The 'fantasy' clip here is from last year, and you've probably already seen it. However, it's really just for the guys in my league - I want to make sure they pick Chris Chambers or Plaxico Burress first.
Check out the local gun shows in your town. Have a good weekend.
UPDATE: if you were experiencing "frozen video" at about the 1-minute mark in some of these clips over the last 3 weeks, that has been fixed.
Funny how this little Russian incident wasn't mentioned in the news. Second clip: one of Obama's followers took the floor at the City Council meeting - nice work, honey. Lastly, regarding the last clip: it takes a little while to get there, but your patience will be duly rewarded. PS: We are now on twitter!
An excellent tribute to the good man. RIP John Hughes.
The Ramones had their version of this first clip and it was better, but it's summer and it's slow - and that makes this one worth publishing.
(GRUESOME)First clip: a fan favorite I should've put up a while ago. Last link / clip: my personal favorite of the year, right behind the Terrorist Camp Fire from 01/23.
Courtesy of some crazed Bavarians.
Got shit to do!
There are some large files here... just no other way to do some of these because I can't stand choppy clips and I won't do flash. It's a Friday Page ramp up to an All American holiday weekend. That last eagle flick is a real slice of American Pride.
(LANGUAGE)Summer trips are coming up in the next week or two, so I may miss a Friday.
Beautiful Girl with a Great Body
(TITS+BUSH)(TITS & SHIT)Look - let's talk seriously, I think your friend Billy might be dead.
(FACE ON FIRE)(LANGUAGE)Done & Out. Have a good weekend.
(TITS!)I don't usually put up stuff that should be on ogrish.com, but right now I'm in a hurry and I'm just going to count on you being adult about it.
(GRUESOME!)The original info here may not be completely accurate - more info is here about the "making of" this movie.
The driver completed the course in about 9 minutes, reaching nearly 140 MPH in some stretches. The footage reveals him running real red lights, nearly hitting real pedestrians, and driving the wrong way up real one-way streets. Upon showing the film in public for the first time, Lelouch was arrested. He has never revealed the identity of the driver, and the film went underground.
The Golden Eagle is an intelligent raptor. He understands the power of gravity is stronger than anything he could dish out. There was a lot to this video - 12 minutes in fact - but I chopped it down to the basics. Probably more of it available at YouTube if you search.
"He's about 455 yards away, he's gonna hit about a 2 iron, I think." The last piece here is interesting, but we're not 100% certain if that's really the driver, and even if it is, what he is doing, finishing the texting he started when he crashed?
The music in "Lion Named Christian" is not my choice - it would never be my choice. Interesting story, but how much better could the story be without that hag howling all over the place?
(language)Next Friday come, and I couldn't get the rent...
I don't run hit-in-the-nut jokes because the first one I saw 20 years ago was the only one that was funny. I think Rolling Rock gets that too.
Was out of town last week, so I missed the page... here are a couple extras...
On top of two deadlines - I'm outta here.
These could be some of the best combinable things in the universe. Ninjas riding snowboards with rail guns on swiveling belt/body turrets a la "Drake" from Aliens.
When your head is so full of snot that you can create a snare drum with a pencil and your forehead, it's probably time to get antibiotics or something.
(language)Have only 57 seconds today? Then the first one here is just for you. Also - I fixed the broken link from last week - "The Celebrities From Missouri" file is working and is worth a look.
A few Powerpoint entries today, and an apology to our Aussie friends - I overlooked your Aus day last month, so there is a little something to make up for it in the last entry.
We've always heard the more things change, the more they stay the same. I would say this first flick today pretty much sums up what we all already know about the new president: talks a good game, but cannot, or will not, truly change anything with Washington being a bunch of wholly incompetent, befuddled, corrupted asshats. The last flick? Freaks me OUT.
(language)Just look at it - it's stereotypically humorous. Thanks to everyone for sending goodies in - I've received the Durex commercial a lot, which means people must like it!
(viewed more than 100,000 times):
Auto-Shotgun | Camino Del Ray
Incident Action Report | Pussy Stripper | Dog Be Gone
Today's first vid is best seen in hi-res, so I kept it that way and it clocks in at 25MB... pull it and watch it later or whatever you need to do, but it's worth the wait to see it in full res.
I question the last one because it seems too easy - if you actually do this trick for some kind of audience, how do you end up flubbing it? I do not, however, have any questions about the first video - 'cept maybe you got more 'o dat?
Pressed for time? Watch the first flick (do a shoulder / volume check first) and then the last one.
(language)Per last week's commentary - it could always be worse. You could be part of the Waffle House Weddin' you see below. This is Georgia Son!
Whatever is cooking, good and bad, let's just get it on already. I suppose it can always be worse, but really, we just need ...
And it rarely feels like December or January or whatever. Until now - I'm out of town in my wife's hometown of St Louis, where one of the temperatures last week was five. Five degrees. So here's some snow vids & a great lesson in classical music and miniguns.
Thank you for another great year in 2008.
I've received some of these a few times, so you may have seen them - maybe not.
(language)Why is it when scientists pop up with some outlandish idea (remember the a-hole who figured out how to make a combustible engine run on water - it's down the list here somewhere from several months ago) that seems like it's going to revolutionize the world, they get all kinds of airplay and press, and then ten years later we're all sitting around driving the same shitty gas hogs and pandering to Arab terrorists while muttering, "Whatever happened to that dick who invented the algae oil?"
It might not seem like it sometimes, but there are some things to be thankful for. Here are a few that come to mind. Out.
There's a FLASH version of the 'Gymkhana' flick here available elsewhere if 16MB is too big for ya... I got this from quite a few people, but here's one spot.
(language)Strength does not come from winning. Your struggles develop your strengths. When you go through hardships and decide not to surrender, that is strength. --Arnold Schwarzenegger
I figured this might be a good time to visit some fading Republican themes that have made up these Friday entries from the f'n get-go: guns, weapons of war, etc. Find out more about the F-35 here. Find out where other Republicans will be traveling in early 2009, with fat F'n carry-on bags here. Adios.
It's tough to top last year's Robot Chicken Halloween pieces... here and here. Happy Halloween!
Some lessons of what NOT to do this weekend...
This is last minute entry - on my way out the door to do a press check.
The incredibly clever work by Diesel here shows some great "Safe For Work" porn. Quality stuff. I also don't usually pass along the "inspirational" posters, but these were okay. Here here and here.
I'm publishing three different publications now, so it seems like there's a deadline every other week. So, this is quick and simple stuff. Adios.
What a colossal slutfuck this whole American corporate bailout is. Isn't this supposed to be a shining beacon of Capitalism and Free Enterprise for the rest of the world? Wow. In lighter news, the car thief and meth addict in the second flick is worth all four minutes and forty seconds of your time, but if pressed, I would highly suggest watching at the 2:15 mark. Ruch: Did you live in Canada for a while (3:15 - 3:42)?
Miscellaneous funnies - I'm on deadline, so that's all from me...
(language)From Dave in Oz, regarding the The Ultimate Pub on 09.05.08: "The XXXX (four ex) beer truck is legit, I’ve seen it. Clearly an add for beer, which originates in the Australian state of Queensland. Not sure of a US comparison, but Queensland is essentially a cross between California and Florida. There is a saying in Australia… 'Queensland, a beautiful place, a place God created - but why he filled it full of dickheads nobody knows….' The reason why the Beer is called XXXX is because Queenslanders have trouble spelling B-E-E-R!" Thanks for the info, Dave!
American Football started last night. That's goddamn right. Last year's Fantasy Football Song was a good kickoff to the season. This year we'll do it just a little different - the Barry Sanders piece is a little long, and only true fans of the guy will be able to watch all that juking without puking.
Suddenly, this year seems kind of sucky. Funny how gray the skies turn when that vacation time evaporates. Why does vacation time go by three times faster than office time? These are the secrets of the universe I guess. It's a dog's life - and this week's theme as well.
Off to California for a week. Update should still happen next Friday.
But hey, it's better than the nofuckingfridayatall page.
I really did update last Friday, but failed to upLOAD the page until earlier this week. Scattered sleep makes one do things they normally wouldn't. I'm putting up the elephant humor piece because I seem to get it once a week or so - from friendly folks who are delighted to pass it along. I haven't used it before because I quietly questioned the authenticity of the flick. Anyway, here 'tis.
'Till next week... <yawn>.
Another Beer Drinker and Hell Raiser hits the dirt: our son Noah was born last week; 8 lbs. 2 oz. healthy happy and wise. He's the loudest goddamn thing I've heard in a long time. Eight pounds of sheer volume. Sleep is just a distant memory; like a really good barbecue sandwich I ate a long time ago.
Happy Independence Day to the American viewers... most of us will spend this long glorious weekend drinking beer, cooking on the barbecue, and eventually, lighting fire to ass rockets (see last flick). I know we've done that one before, but it's befitting. The first movie you might have seen. More info about the complete project behind this here. Happy Fourth!
Thank you for the overwhelming concern to the Friday Page... I can appreciate that no one really cares if I'M okay or not, just where are the fuckin' movies? I love that about this page. Totally uncomplicated.
Cleaning some of these out of the inbox... the last one here is a bit hardcore. The dude with his melon butterflied like a leg of lamb is fine - just a little headache, I guess.
This first clip is explained as follows: second baby will be here in six weeks. High Command issued a new directive: the Z4 Roadster must be replaced by family car. I chose the color "Mercury Metallic" (silver).
Gotta go - will hold my miscellaneous musings over until next week.
This first clip is long and large - this info about the fascinating piece: "Originally built in 1901, this walkway now serves as an approach to makinodromo, the famous climbing sector of El Chorro." Head to Wikipedia if you want more info. The Frontier Demo is pretty sweet, too. Out.
Missed last week because we was movin' - into a house while we remodel ours. You want life to suck like a shitty cup of coffee? Whip up a remodel of your home when your wife is 7 months pregnant and you're about 2 weeks away from Mercury-esque summer temperatures. Pick up all your shit and move into another house - a much smaller house - where you can't even get Tivo. Then toss in a hellacious work schedule, three new employees you need to train, and stir in general economic malaise. It's tasty!
If this ever happens to you, and you don't offer to buy the video from your friend who is laughing at your newfound dental misfortune, you deserve the subsequent Internet stardom that comes your way. For more on the IED (full video), head here.
(language)Regarding the first flick - how a reporter can be impartial and abstain from thin-slicing the eyeballs out some of these imbeciles is completely beyond me. Rob Riggle, I bow to your power. Semper Fi.
Once again, a deadline interferes with my Friday.
What a puny plan. I had Road Warrior on Laser Disc (the big, dinner-plate sized things) and now I have it on HD-DVD - all I need now is a Betamax version.
I'm pretty sure the Crazy Talk Show piece is fake, and I really hope it is. The idea of that bunch of dumbasses choreographing that fine display of showmanship makes me laugh harder than the nonsensical shit they are doing to each other - except maybe the flying crane kick - that's pretty sweet sugar, baby.
Looks like "My Name is Bruce" has a fairly tight demographic, eh? If you're a fan of Bruce Campbell, then you should enjoy this one. Check out more at Bruce's site.
There's been this rash of highly creative - and highly doctored - vids that have mostly hit the commercial market. I've put a couple in this Friday's submission. Seems that everyone wants to create the "WOW" ad that seals the deal immediately. Speaking of sealing the deal - how about that goddamn US Government issued gas mask in the Goat Movie? "We watched him for three days after the test - he's FINE."
PARIS - February 4, 1912: An Austrian tailor named Franz Reichelt ascended to the top of the Eiffel Tower to test his new Parachute Overcoat. At almost 1000 feet, the Eiffel Tower was the largest man-made structure in the world at the time. If everything was going to go as planned, Reichelt would "fly" or "float" down to the ground and then sell a shitload of parachute overcoats. Judging by the movie that accompanies this historic 'jackass' moment, Reichelt himself had his doubts as he stepped up to the railing to jump. Perhaps he figured he had gone too far to back out - and god only knows what kind of bets he made with the boys in the bar. Since the movie is silent, we'll just have to imagine the distant voices below shouting, "C'mon Franz, you fuckin' PUSSY!" Be sure to watch to the end, where you can see the "CSI" detectives of the early 20th century measuring the depth of Reichelt's impact crater. Indeed.
The Rally video would be a lot better if the mountain was more of a target range. There are "cutesy" files here- had to get them out of my folder because I'm tired of looking at them every week trying to decide if I want to use them.
Found the XREP - thank you everyone who helped out in the search. One of the videos about it is below. The shotgun in the second video - the AA-12 - is just fucking scary.
Anyone know where we can find a video on the XREP shotgun? This one for one of the boys in blue who sends a lot of stuff our way. Any help is appreciated. Short on quantity this week - but long on quality. Your results may vary.
I love this first clip - it's a good wrap-up to the whole debacle that was the 2008 NFL Season. Regarding the last clip: a friend of mine who is on our local police force once told me this: "A fireman sitting under a tree in the shade must be hot, tired and overworked. A policeman sitting in the same spot must be a lazy son-of-a-bitch who should be fired."
(language)You know what's great about America? Well, the Superbowl is okay, sure - but the BEST part about America is that we elect our own officials. We CHOOSE the people who are to represent THE PEOPLE of America. Sometimes these politicians turn out to be pretty good at what they do, but most of the time they are merely average at their jobs. Then, there's the elected asshole who just fucks it all up - and somehow gets everyone else at the party to drink the Kool-Aid and wait for the spaceship to come and snatch them off of Capitol Hill. See this first clip for instance...
(language)The Superfriends pieces are not new, but the Super Rats from 08.11.06 are still funny, so here ya go. As a side note, the Way of the Gun has one of the best opening scenes I've EVER seen, dialogue-wise - as is displayed in the Superfriends piece below. Mahalo.
(language)(language)I knew I was saving a few of these for a reason - you might've seen them before, but finally a few new submissions kind of match up to them, so here there are.
(F-WORD)When Foster Brooks and Dean Martin got together, the assumption was that the boys weren't quite acting so much as just having fun. An interesting note about Foster Brooks: he gave up dinking to win a bet in 1964 (quite some time before his 'lovable lush' character surfaced). "Fellow made me a $10 bet I couldn't quit, and I haven't had a drink since," said Brooks. "At the time I needed the $10." It's rumored that Dean Martin was usually just drinking apple juice, although I find that hard to believe.
Videos about idiots made this page what it is - so let's give them their due and showcase them and their kind in this Friday's list. From the people who brought you: No more in '04, Still alive in '05, Banging chicks in '06, Nothing else rhymes but heaven and eleven in '07... Let's Aggravate in '08.
We'll finish this year with a single powerpoint presentation, followed with five audio entries that are worth a second listen if you've heard them before. WARNING: The audio files are probably Not Safe For Work - the good ones rarely are. Happy 2008.
Sharking | Plasma | Stunt Flying | "Bride to Be" | Dillon Aero
You might've seen some of these before but they're all to help you get in the spirit of the holidays. It's just not Christmas without the Jackass Christmas Special from previous years - so to get you in the mood, I suggest you revisit that to kick it all off. Many thanks to all of you who sent in videos throughout the year - your assistance in keeping this page alive is greatly appreciated!
(F-WORD)(F-WORD)Is there anything better than watching the misfortunes of others? I don't think so either.
because it's nobody's goddamned business how much he's had already.
Good advice.
(lingerie
bowl)Three questions regarding the dicks in the Lamborghini blowing down the Loop 202 here in Phoenix. First, whose quarter-million-dollar-plus car is this? Surely it doesn't belong to any of the ball-lappers in the video. Second, how hard is it for DPS to find a gold Murcielago (or any Murcielago for that matter) registered in Phoenix? Third, what do you suppose the charges will be once DPS does find them?
Thanksgiving - that holiday when everyone wears brown and eats a bunch of brown food. I'll likely skip next Friday and catch up with you in two weeks.
(nudity)Interesting - this first clip is almost exactly the same story I just coordinated for my community paper here in Arizona. Kids, school, the school adopting a military unit, Daddy coming home from Iraq to a grateful crowd at the school. Tears, joy, happiness, pride, etc. Hoo-wrauuughh.
Cleaning out the inbox on a couple of these.
Regarding the IED video - info I found on Live Link and elsewhere seems to indicate this attack impacted Iraqi Army Humvees a few months ago. Cocksucking Terrorists.
(F-WORD)A couple of these I've received from quite a few sources lately - so figured it's a "high demand" item... speaking of high demand, take a look at 32 Hours and tell me you're ready to navigate. Running about a buck fifty, 'nocs hunting the horizon, scanners full of chatter. Makes a man want to get out and drive like a supercharged felon all over this great land.
Been playing a lot of Bioshock lately. It's one of the best FPS I've seen in a looooong time. I suppose it's worth all those sleepy days at the office from being up until 2:30 cruising around firing electric buckshot into Big Daddies. Our first flick is long and large ("That's what she said" - Michael Scott), and shows off some of the goods. The last flick, Vista Sucks, is a well-put-together piece. If you have time for only ONE treat today - that's the baby to unwrap.
The Killacycle guy is fine - he's just really sleepy right now.
You've probably seen a couple of these before, as I've received them from a few different sources lately. I apologize for the re-runs, but at least there's more entries this Friday to make up for it.
Go Pirates! Beat the Cubbies this weekend, bitches! Knock their dicks in the dirt.
(HOLY
SHIT! WORDS.)Yes - thank you for the reminders everyone that the football season has started and I left out the usual Friday flicks indicating this. If you still want to see said flicks, scroll down to last year's 09/08/06 entry - it's still there. In fact, the one from 09/09/05 is still down there too - making me think that as this Friday Page gets longer and longer, the whole concept of META tagging everything and organizing it into searchable categories is beyond my grasp.
(F-WORD)(F-WORD)Before you know it, you're going to be looking at Christmas lights videos.
Come back on 8/31 and enjoy yourself.
This is a pretty good run for this page - haven't missed a Friday since March. BUT - we've got to break it sometime. I'm going to put in a few flicks for next Friday, and you can either watch it now or come back next week, but I'm not going to be around so I'll see you next time in September. These week's theme: The Mighty Prank.
(TITS)(TITS)So I'm using Bitorrent last week at my office to download some flicks. A couple GBs of stuff, no big deal. I wasn't going to go see these movies in the theatre anyway, I was thinking. How can it be illegal? I wasn't going to give you any money to START with and now I'm STILL NOT - what's NOTHIN' plus NOTHIN'? So I get this phone call on my cell the other day and it's from my office ISP. They're saying that they would normally just shut my ass down and send me a letter, but since it happens to be my business that we're dealing with, they decided to cut me some slack and issue a warning. They even knew WHICH shitty movies I pulled. Jesus - FINE - you win. I'll send Hollywood a check they don't deserve.
(LANGUAGE)Do you realize that there are children in this world who are turning 21 right now - and this means they were JUST getting ready to come out of the womb when this movie was the big buzz in 1986? This makes me feel so freaking old. This Friday's theme: video games and other youthful stuff. Two of these vids are LARGE, as I was trying to maintain some of the quality.
"Be advised, we got zips in the wire down here." || "Roger your last, Bravo Six. Can't run it any closer. We're packing snake and nape, but we're bingo on fuel." || " For the record, it's my call! Dump everything you've got left on my pos! I say again, expend all remaining in my perimeter! It's a lovely fucking war. Bravo Six out." || "Roger your last, Bravo Six. We copy. It's your call. Get 'em in their holes down there. Hang tough, Bravo Six. We are coming cocked for treetops."
The "Rick Monday" piece below is one I haven't seen in a while - thanks for sending it along, Senor Dewalt. I suppose you either love Tommy Lasorda or hate him - his appearance in this video is a strong motivator one way or another. For all of the global Friday visitors: flag burning in this country has long been a point of contention. Protestors feel that if we truly are the home of the free then we should be allowed to burn the very symbol that cloaks this country in everlasting freedom and inalienable rights. While this may be a fine concept in THEORY (though it is just a shock-value stunt), there will always be men like Monday / Lasorda who will advise you find some other way to protest, and I like to think that the majority of Americans take that stance, even with global affairs like they are today. Realistically, the video would have been better if all of the Dodgers starting face-stomping these fags, but...
Wife and kid return tonight from being gone for about a month. As nice as it's been flying solo for a little while, I really miss the missus and my son. In fact, at the store this evening a little boy about my kid's age went into a Stage Seven Core Meltdown in the bakery because his mother bought him a chocolate chip cookie. Turns out, he wanted the *M&M* cookie, NOT the chocolate chip one, so he just snapped. As the kid howled mightily at the worst atrocity to occur his short-ass life, I found myself longing for some father / son time with my little guy. Probably because I knew how I would've handled that shit - snatch the cookie out of the kid's hand, wing it to the other end of the store in an exaggerated heave (complete with emphatic grunting sound) and haul his ass out of there while delivering an in-depth explanation about entitlement. Yep. Can't wait to see 'em.
It's summer. Travel is mandatory.
And other movie / broadcast stuff you should embed for the weekend.
But I still had some time to drop some stuff for this Friday. Some of these you might've seen before - if so, just keep moving - there's more than one movie on this page. The new Will Ferrell short is pretty funny, I guess - if you like "Pearl" in this you'll love her in The Landlord (from 2 months ago).
I was talking with one of my coworkers the other day about this first movie... see, we're in the DAWN of the computer age - and computers right now are absolutely freakin' stupid. 20 years from now we'll look back on these things like we look back on assholes who used to program in BASIC 20 years ago. 10 PRINT "YOU ARE GAY"
20: GO TO 10
... sweet. My point is this: we all work our asses off 8-16 hours a day, clicking and clacking away on bullshit that we will be able to finish in eight minutes flat 50 years from now. When you look at this first movie, understand that these machines should have been doing this OUT OF THE BOX a decade ago. We all might as well have been born in the friggin' BRONZE age.
I'm sure the globetrotting Friday Pagers can fill me in on what is being said in Swedish in the Ghost Rider movie... is he busted or what? The thing dims AWFUL quick there at the end, and you can hear that engine revving up - like Ghost Baby is about to hit the shit and get goooooone. NOBODY can catch Ghost Rider - right? Dude should just dump his bike and run for the fuckin' hills if he is being caught there - it's so goddamn ridiculous. Say it ain't so, Ghost! UPDATE (06/22/07): From one of our Friday friends Lars (thank you!)- his interpretation of the Swedish commentary... According to the Police the insane driving is often inspired by movies like Ghost Rider. Where a motorcycle driver, among other things, drives the 42 miles distance between Stockholm and Uppsala below 15 minutes. This summer a Police unit spotted the driver from the Ghost Rider movie. The driver failed to stop at a traffic light and took off doing a wheelie towards the Nynas road in Stockholm. But this time the Police are lucky. Just a couple of minutes later the Police manage to surprise and apprehend the driver…
I have no idea what language is being spoken in the first flick, but let's just say it's French. It just makes the stereotype easier to maintain. Also, the "language warnings" are really just there as a courtesy - I fully expect that this will mean nothing more than you will TURN IT DOWN before you fire it up. UPDATE: Thank you to all who wrote in to advise that the "Frenchies" are actually Canadians, speaking in their evil, Quebecian tongue.
(LANGUAGE)(LANGUAGE)What you doin' this weekend? Anything this fun?:
Okay - the first clip here is almost nine minutes long. I know it's a helluva long time to listen to pretty much ANYthing, so I tried to dress it up a little with some imaging. Time will fly right by as you listen to the systematic break down of mental healthcare in the United States. The last clip this week is dedicated to all the furry creatures who have recently perished in the forest fires throughout America. Lots of good eatin' just gone up in smoke. Happy Memorial Day, Amigos.
(LANGUAGE)Regarding the Rude Wake-ups: the first one is a classic from a long while back - the second one is the most recent version we received. I've been on many bachelor party trips in vans that looked just like these - but I don't remember any of us having enough energy to shout.
We all used to just haul ass around corners and let the back end break loose a little. Then we'd straighten it out, stab that accelerator to the floor and wait for hyperspace. That was all before the dicks in Hollywood started making entire movies about drifting. Yes - an entire 110 minutes of some inane drifting shit - with some faggot love story thrown in the mix. Just pathetic. And just what every little ricer fag wants to do... so enjoy the first flick this week, men of yesteryear - just soak it up.
You need, of course, only a solitary tip: heaps o' fucking gas.
The "District 13" clip has one of the guys who is a favorite of the Friday Page - David Belle. I was pretty excited when I saw this clip - I figured this was the 'intro' to the flick, and the remaining 105 minutes were going to be nothing BUT scenes just like this one - just a non-stop action soiree.
I think I've finally figured out how to yank video from YouTube.... which is good. Some people send me links to videos on YouTube, which I usually ignore. In fact, I usually disregard YouTube as a general rule, because it can drive a person bat-shit-crazy trying to find a decent ass-kicking video that doesn't have some retarded teenager lip-syncing the latest Gnarles Barkley hit. That's the beauty of the Friday Page - I act as your benevolent editor, sifting through the heaps of dung to get to the shiny pearls of visual and aural pleasure. Enjoy the "Camaro Song" - a YT link my buddy Riemer sent to me about a year ago. Since the video / song was made - GM is indeed making a new Camaro.
(LANGUAGE)(LANGUAGE)I've received some pretty awesome Powerpoint files over the years. I don't put them up because I have no idea how many people have Powerpoint... but since Microsoft's reach seems to be pretty freakin' deep in the jar, I'm guessing more have it than not... plus, you can get the free reader here if need be. For those of you on terminals who can't download anything - well, that sucks, eh? Maybe you should find a new line of employment. Some positions in sharking may have just opened up.
(NUDITY?)(LANGUAGE)(NUDITY!)Friday Page Guy would like to thank all of you for the kind words and stellar accolations you've bestowed on him in response to the previous response about my non-responsive state. Kick ass.
"What the hell man? You die? You're killing me here! You okay? What the fuck is going on here - if you don't post something soon I'm NEVER coming back! Just end this thing - take the goddamn site down if you're not going to put anything up." - just some of the e-mail I've received lately. It would seem some of the Friday Page visitors are downright ornery when it comes to missing doses of Friday cheer. I'll save you all the trite explanations for my tardiness. Alright, let's get into it...
Jesus - a guy goes to work for a while and the next thing you know his hobby starts suffering. Thank you all for the great stuff - it certainly helps when you send me goodies. Have a great weekend - try and get outside and enjoy the fresh air. Try to stay away from the whole public intoxication thing - unlike our little friend in the second-to-last flick - and you have to watch that one to the end, by the way.
(language)One of the beauties of (low-quality) video cell phones is everyone is a director, of course. With sites abound on the 'net, we will always have submissions that showcase the sheer retarded behavior from those who relish in the simple concept of being "most watched" on fucking YouTube. We can thank these people for sacrificing things like eyes, spines, autos and entire kitchens, for our enjoyment. The last video is long, but is the best one I've seen in a long time. I love the bridesmaid who is cracking up over the whole experience - she's the real keeper! It is worth saving until you return from lunch and hunker down for the final four hours of your Friday workday. UPDATE: Bride is an actress looking for glory on the 'net... guess she got it. There was no wedding.
(language)(language)Here are some of the better commercials I've received over the past few weeks, along with one other flick - I am putting the "Spiders on Drugs Ironic Nature Show" up only because it's been sent to me about 100 times... thank you kindly to everyone for thinking of the Friday Page and sending it along, although I have to tell you that *I* didn't find it that funny, which is why it didn't go up a month ago. Nevertheless, here 'tis, if you haven't seen it.
(slight language) The Keyword for the weekend: MODERATION.
Sometimes I really would rather just sit around the house for a week or two and crank out stuff to put up on the Friday Page - I really would. I've got nearly a terabyte of shit I've collected over the years that I have all these wonderful ideas for - mainly compilations that I can put together to showcase and expand on my editing skills. Perhaps someday this will come true and you will be sincerely rewarded for your loyalty to the Friday Page. Until then, you'll have to settle for this...
I was unavoidably detained for the past few weeks - hope you all had a great ending to 2006 and are off to a good start with 2007. Right around Christmas, there was a Robot Chicken Marathon on the Cartoon Network. If you haven't yet seen this clever show, and you like the Robot Chicken skits below, you've got to set up your DVR to start inhaling these shows. Here's a mash of stuff - to make up for the extended absence - most are pretty long, but hey - we haven't seen each other in a while!
Remember the ultimate Christmas lights from last year? How about the Christmas Kangaroo from SNL? There ya go if you didn't see 'em last year. Here's what we have so far around here... and some other goodies that I just couldn't pass up, even though they aren't holiday themed.
Yep - it's close to the Christmas and all, but I refuse to accept that - so we'll just keep going with the flow here (I do have some good holiday stuff cued up for the next few weeks, though). Top Gear is on the Speed Channel in my hometown - worth watching - three of the clips below are from them. Once again, thank you to all of you who take time to send in Friday Goods!
Yeah, yeah - so it should be called the "every OTHER Friday Page" eh? Okay - I'll tell ya what - I apologize for missing you. Here comes the rest of the reporter's necessary shit - and that's why I've been out - gotta keep the local news running, baby.
You might've heard this first one - it's been sent to me quite a bit. Same with the Fattie clip - I'm kind of catching up a bit. The LeBrons are here because I think the commercials are clever - not everyone will agree with me, I'm sure, but in a world where most ads are "lost in the noise" this is pretty fresh.
(brief
language)(just
a couple nips - you can barely see 'em)Is there anything better than the prank phone call? When I was a kid, the first prank call I ever did was to the Operator (I didn't know any other numbers). When she answered, I spewed forth all of the cuss words I had learned from my friends in school. Like a fire hydrant wrenched open on a summer day in the ghetto, I let her have it all - which I thought was damn funny. Then she told me she was going to turn off our phone - and my pipsqueak mind could only envision the parental rage that would ensue if the operator was indeed capable of such power. But, I felt like she was bluffing - so I calmly said,
"You better not, you bitch." The telephone didn't work for two days. Happy Halloween.
I'm in the middle of deadline/production, so nothing much from me this week.
Here we go again - stunt jumps and other life-and-limb stuff. "Would this be the last stunt he would ever perform?" Well, I would say anyone who thinks they can jump a friggin' MILE in a Lincoln deserves snapped femurs and crushed vertebrae.
"Did I make it?" Well - what do you think, Kenny?
A quiet weekend in the pines for me and the missus - see ya.
Yep - here's a few that I've been holding on to for a while - just waiting for the right time to set them free. Happy first day of Autumn today - I'm sure you're elated. I won't be here next week, so savor.
Was there anyone better than Tyson when he was in his prime? I don't think so. If the guy could've worked out whatever was ailing his brain, he could've been unstoppable. NO ONE could handle that uppercut he had - no one. Sorry for the delay getting this up - server issues. Happy Friday.
We do have some traditions here at the Friday Page - and now that we're looking at a much larger audience, I doubt that all of you are familiar with these traditions (unless you've bothered to scroll all the way through this log jam of flicks and read every comment I've put up). As of right now, my limit on traditions is two a year: First Weekend of Football Season and Christmas. This being the former, you will be hit with the usual annual two movies that signify to Friday Page Viewers that The Season has started. Football Season signifies the very greatest time of year - where the American Male can sit on his couch and watch every single goddamn game (thank you DirecTV & TiVo!) in high-definition on his 42" Plasma TV, all while screaming, drinking, eating pizza and farting up a storm. I don't much care for fart jokes - but the missus sure does, and if I want to sit around all day on Sunday watching football, I better put something up here to put her in a good mood. Cheerio, bitches!
So let's say you decide to blow through all 12 of these entries over the next 15 minutes... does that make you a better person? I don't know. Here's what I do know: my ass is outta here - I need a vacation (yeah, I know that some of you think I don't do anything BESIDES this, but I do) and I'm taking it. Thank you kindly to all of you who have sent in as much stuff as you have - you know who you are (I always hate it when others thank people that way, but I am left with little choice here). I'll see you bitches on September 8th... feel free to buy me a drink this weekend and next (I'd like a Tanqueray and Tonic, please - no lime - just hammer that baby down and I'll try and absorb what I can through thoughts). Wraaaaaauuuuugggghhhh!!!! (P.S. - in case you were wondering: the answer to last week's question is: Artist: Lacquer / Title: Behind - thank you to Glenn, Tim, Chris, Benjamin and many others for the answer - it is appreciated).
Someone wrote me and asked if I knew the music from the "Coast to Coast in Four Minutes" video a couple weeks ago - I don't - but if YOU do can you e-mail it to me? Thanks. Have a great Friday!
Go home early today - you deserve it. Some of these are a little long, so here's my suggestion: watch all of today's flicks and then just walk right out without saying a word to anyone.
Due to circumstances beyond my control, last Friday was missed. Soooo... here's a double.
Ha-wraugh-wraugh-wraugh - WRAAAAAUUUUGHGHGHGHGH!!!!!!!!! <unleash hell>
Sometimes this town just amazes me - 116°F today - what the hell is that? So, "Al-Qaeda" from last week turns out to be a nice guy - sorry I ripped ya, mate. It takes a lot for someone to write what you did, so there's an entry in here for you - a little more realistic view of the shit in Iraq. Cheers.
I've gotten a little flack recently for all of the "pro-war" videos I've put up - one person even suggested that I put up some of the terrorist videos of beheadings and IED explosions, to balance things out. Okay - yeah - thanks for checking in, Al Qaeda.
Finally dug up that AC-130 footage from Afghanistan, as well as some other flexes of force.
Have a great long weekend - or whatever.
1.91MB WMV There is a new icon at work here - if you see
it means you may want to look over your shoulder and turn down the sound
before firing it up. Sorry for any trouble anyone has gotten in before
- I've got your messages and this seems to be a good fix. Many thanks
again to everyone who has sent in clips - they are always welcome! G.
962K WMV
2.85MB WMVStill trying to dig up "Spooky" Footage - I know I have some good ones from Afghanistan. The third one up from the bottom of today's movies is a great classic - and while it's not the AC-130, it'll do for now, I hope. Have a great weekend and don't forget Dad on Sunday. G.
Missed ya last week. Will try not to let that happen again (yeah). I've had quite a few requests lately for "Chainguns" and "AC-130 Gunships" - here are some chaingun goodies and I'll see what I can dig up for Spooky Gunship footage for next week. How'd you all like that Zarqawi hit this week? I love how the Air Force commander told the pilots that there was a "high-value" target in this little safehouse... so they dropped two 500 pound bombs on the house - that's half a ton of bombs to you and me, kids!
Well, whatever you're doing this weekend in your little slice of the world, take along a video camera and send me some footage if you're partaking in any of the following adventures:
I mean, it's just a re-design of the old site at a new url, right? What's the big damn deal? Why did this take me so long to switch over? I don't friggin' know. Sorry about missing everyone last Friday - hopefully this will make up for it... oh - HIT CONTROL-D NOW TO BOOKMARK THE NEW PLACE HERE... do not return to the old spot ever again - pour out your forties, as that page will be dead soon.
Regarding the last movie ** WARNING ** graphic material. However, it's my opinion that this is worth watching - to remember that Iraq is still a place of concern. Speaking of concern, I'm off to Mexico for a few days to celebrate Cinco de Mayo. Adios, Amigos.
It's late, I'm tired, and the new site isn't finished. Have a great weekend.
This should be the last week on this page. Next week we'll switch over to the new site. In the meantime, as the e-mail from our Aussie mate, Steve Thomas, said about this first movie, "Imagine being overtaken while doing 290+" - no kidding. I guess that's when you decide to trade up.
So, did the Ghost Rider get married and have kids or something? What gives? Why the "last ride"? I imagine he told the missus he'd wrap it up for her... I can hear him in his broken English:
GHOST: Zees is last ride.
WIFE: When you comin' home ghost? Kid needs a bath, tough guy.
GHOST: Don't ask stupid question. I go 600 mph on Hayabusa Turbo - nearly go back in time, to before we met, so I don't have to meet you again.
WIFE: Yeah, listen, fuckin' rent's due, so why don't you haul your ass into a J.O.B.?
GHOST: You ask stupid again. I. Am. Gone. Ghost Rider is Gone. There is no Ghost.
WIFE: Kid gets washed in 30 minutes - you better be here.
This certainly explains Ghost's determination. And 200 mph+ wheelies.
We try to provide a wide variety of entertainment here at the Friday Page. Here's hoping this week's entries keep a smile on your face until quittin' time. Flava Flav in the last video should be able to tell you what time it is.
I work all day on this paper that serves this little tiny segment of the world - and then I come home and find messages of people who are laughing at the Friday Page all over the planet. Seems the page made its way through Australia, and thanks to Gary Saxon (in Oz), I have enough Australian humor to do an entire Friday - which I will, eventually. Thanks to the recent offerings again from all over the world - including our newfound friends in Portugal. You made the list, buddy.
Sorry - this is a no-safe zone this Friday. Mash children in face with the palm of your hand - redirecting them to the Great Outdoors to enjoy the scents of nature: trees, grass, etc. Slurp beers. Enjoy. Thanks again to the senders.
Sorry about last week - dealing with computer failure. So, let's get into it... ignore the alcohol rumblings with the last several movies - it means nothing. Thanks to the senders!
The next time I have to fire someone, I'm pulling the maneuver from this first video - [pick]-[reach-to-shoulder]-[drop-booger]-[flick-it-away-as-a-favor], then, "You're fired."
Regarding the last one: uh, it could be disturbing to some viewers. But it's a good lesson in safety, kids! Always wear your seatbelt when you steal another person's vehicle.
I haven't said it lately, but a resounding THANK YOU to my many friends out there who send in the goods - I always appreciate you taking the time to send in stuff! My e-mail.
Okay, we'll start off with the freak of the week. My sis-in-law, we'll call her "E", is directly involved in this first movie. Might not mean much to you - but her apartment is DIRECTLY ABOVE where this incident happened. As she put it: "I sat around all day eating my Chipotle and watching movies, while a recently hacked-up, dead body was rotting directly under my living room." So, "E" does not live there anymore - she vacated that place within hours of finding out this news. If you watch the show "48 Hours" on A&E, you might catch a glimpse of her in a future episode - we'll be sure to let you know here on the Friday Page when that airs. Then, we'll roll right into what I consider the only useful part of this year's SuperBowl - finding more commercials to add to the "extreme" commercial collection. Sadly, out of these two, the first is the only one that I will acknowledge as a decent creation. And now, after editing it, I find myself wondering if it mostly sucks (except for a decent guitar riff, a couple of sweet drifts and a weak blend of a monster truck flying into the scene - and the sumo skulking down the street is good), and if it is just gay. See the "Harley" guys riding with our hero, Bob? GAY. Sticking with the Monster Truck theme, we'll wrap it up with "A Monster Truck for Sister Wendy" - which was on Top Gear tonight and I thought you might find it funny. It's over 4 minutes long, so if you don't think the idea of nuns driving monster trucks (it is a bit anticlimactic, I'll grant you that) is that funny, you're free to go.
This first flick is a personal favorite - and it's a reminder to my friend Scott and my brother Curt about the good 'ol days of driving down to Rocky Point - "a five hour drive" (our folks' perception of it). Once we made it in 3 - driving kind of like this - the WHOLE way there. Although I can guarantee you I wouldn't be the chump flooring fourth gear @ 2000 rpm, when I should be hitting the power band in third (like this guy).
(I could not edit this one. I assure you I would have. My apologies for the length.)
The first movie was sent in a few times this week, and is just amazing. The "Fishing Story" is one my father-in-law will enjoy - that's one helluva fishing trip, eh? Well - back to work for me.
The only scary thing here is the French Foreign Legion flick. My buddy Scott N. (a former Marine), sent this to my buddy Pete, telling him to inform his wife that they would be leaving soon for the FFL and to "just let her know if she needs to contact you that it won't be possible until after the first year. Then she will be permitted to send one letter per year thereafter to the following address..."
I'm reminded of a time when I lived with my brother and two other guys, Tom and Kevin. We lived on a golf course, and it was sweet - and Sundays were for watching television. We were all watching some movie one Sunday, and it starred some un-funny person and a monkey. Every time the scene changed to something that didn't have the monkey in it, we howled, "Where's the funkin' MONKEY? The monkey is funny - YOU are not." I bet that movie wouldn't be as funny to watch now, since we were high a lot back then. Also - before any of the paleontologists out there send me an e-mail telling me that the "stars" in these movies are NOT monkeys, realize that the rest of the world likes to call them monkeys. Don't click 'send'.
"About your rubber bullet video on 12/30/05. They used what is commonly called a "pepperball gun." They are pretty much the same as a paintball gun with a few modifications. The rounds travel about twice the speed as a paintball gun. The rounds are also very similar to paintballs, however, they are thicker, which allows them to be shot at the higher speed. Inside the round is powdered oloeoresin capsicum (aka O.C. which is similar to mace or pepperspray.) They have been around awhile and are a less-lethal option for law enforcement. You can see a cloud of dust in the beginning of the video. That is the round exploding and explains the suspects reaction. As they start to escort him away, look at the officer farthest away from the camera. You will notice what looks like a paintball gun." - Many thanks for the info, SafeTin5!
I figured one more Friday entry couldn't hurt, right? The first 12 movies have some slight sound tracking and sizing issues (they are some early work on software I didn't understand, obviously), but are still worth the click. The second to last one, the Foosball Video, is for my brother-in-law David, who received a slick foosball table from Santa this year (and whipped me and our nephew Brendan quite soundly). When you get this good at foosball, I guess you don't work anymore? The final clip is a reminder of this year's greatest tragedy, Hurricane Katrina. Remember, if you can't give, then TAKE. Happy 2006, Friday Fans.
This will be the last of this year's Friday entries. It's light, I know - just deal with it. Shouldn't you be at some Christmas party or something? If you're any student of the Friday page, you'll know that we do the "Jackass Party" every year this time - so here ya go. Merry Merry, Mary to all ya'll out there in the world. See ya in '06.
This movie sums up how I feel right now - I picked up some bug that is going around - plus I'm on hardcore deadline right now, which is nice. I'll have some goodies up NEXT THURSDAY, since Friday is Christmas Eve... Look for more then.
Also, in regards to the photos from last week - thanks to astute Friday Page reader Jeff Rogers, it appears that the video and pictures are separate events. Here is more info.
Well, sorta. One is more like murder, but hey, it could just be serious protection detail.
If you want some more info on this, go here or here... that will get you started. I don't want Aegis flashbanging their way into my house with silenced MP5s mouse-farting off 5000 rounds, while I am forced to return fire with my Mossberg, only to hit body armor and then realize the full force of wire-guided missiles and suitcase nukes or something, so let's just leave this one to you - YOU go figure out what happened here. The Elvis tune is a nice touch, eh?
See this first, then the photos below tell the rest of the story...[Gracias, McGrath!]
You might've seen this first video. It's been sent to me a couple dozen times, so I'm sure it's made its way into your mailbox - but if not, it's one of the coolest things I've seen in a while. This will lead us into the holiday spirit, and then I'll let Yucko just tear us right out of it - because I don't want to believe that Christmas is only three weeks away.
Greetings - and good Friday! The last movie should put a nice smile on your face, hopefully. The "Let's Grape" movie is a re-visit of an oldie that the Good Doctor has been asking about. Always remember that cheaters never prosper. That's why the producer didn't cut to commercial, lady - 'cuz you're a big, fat, cheater. When you go out this weekend, try to have as much fun as this guy. Or this guy. Cheerio!
It's Veteran's Day in America - and time to give thanks to those who have given all they have so that we may enjoy all we have. I don't know if the first movie is the greatest tribute to Vets, but I've been hanging on to it for while, waiting for this day. For more information about the second movie, Unstoppable, and the men behind it, go here. The movie is 26 megs because I wanted to keep it as big as possible with 640x480 res. Thanks to Ruch for the initial intros to the site - and the good 'ol boys at Armor Geddon / Avenger - you could get lost for a while in that blog. The author, Neil Prakash, reportedly is working on a book. More info about him here and the first page of the blog is here. God Bless America - and enjoy that weekend you have coming to you - and remember where it came from.
I need sleep, so this will be short. Thanks to everyone who sent in all the goodies while I was away. I had several hundred messages to contend with upon return, and it's always good to get a bunch of Friday material in the Inbox. The last one is my favorite, and while it's a little on the edge for the workday speakers, it's worth it - just crank it, man. Wrauuugggghhhh!!!
So, I'm going to be gone for a little while, so here's a bunch to feed the need. Savor them. Open the "Halloween" ones next Friday, ya know? The "James Bond You Ain't" has been requested quite a bit lately - it was my first foray into slapping together stuff with Windows Movie Maker - and when I look at it now, I see a lot of stuff I would do different. Ah well, it's still a classic. Many thanks to all of you who send me stuff - you ARE appreciated!
I don't usually have time on deadlines for the Friday Page, but woke up in the middle of the night here with a few minutes on my hands... Now, regarding the movie line: I don't want to see any democrats sending me e-mails bitching about this - just DEAL with it.
There's nothing quite like it on television, and quite frankly, no commercial other than the extreme commercial interests me. You've got to get in there and whang, bang, smash something or get so freaky that it's irreverent before I'll cock an eyebrow of interest or burst out a "Sweeeeeeet." of acceptance.
So, here are some of the extreme commercials (and just some plain funny ones)... the first two are what I call the grandaddies of extremism - they're like Hemingway and Faulkner are to American literature - but I'm sure there are many others... hell, send me some! The last three gear us up for October... and I think are the best (for last, of course). Enjoy.
Dr. Gregg: that second movie is just for you.
It's a bit of tradition - starting the season with the NFL's Greatest Hits Clip. Couldn't dig up the Terry Tate's Greatest Hits project I did a couple years ago - will have to waste several hours looking for that this weekend. Also found the "Go Speed Racer Go" project - which is short, but worth every second... so that's here too. Should be a good weekend - with football starting, I can't imagine anything sucking about it - 'cept a non-stop crying baby, now that might suck.
First off, here's a great photo to get you started. I've stared at it for five straight minutes, trying to figure out the story - and have come up with at least three completely different plots. It's not quite as good as a solid mace-in-the-face, or a pepper-spray hose-down, but it's close.
Regarding the first flick - here is some more info if you're not familiar with the movie to begin with. Most everyone has seen it before, but this is a longer version I just came across- and there's some interesting aspects to this version (such as the "weapon" - that sure explains a bit more, eh?).
About "Crackin' the Jaw": watching skateboarders get seriously hurt never gets old.
We're all adjusting here in the 'ol Bruns household. I realized that all along I thought time was flying - well, I was really just getting too much sleep. Time actually moves standardly - there are indeed 24 hours in a day - and when you're the parent of a newborn, you will sleep only a few hours of those 24, and certainly not in a row. On to the show... and many thanks to Amzie, Michael, Ashley, Chris, Roy and all the others who have been helping me out by sending stuff in - this is definitely the time I need you and I appreciate it!
Here we are. Since I missed ya the last couple weeks, I thought I'd throw in a few extra. Keep in mind that I'm sacrificing my sleep for this. Sleep is a dear and precious commodity when you have a newborn in the house. (Here's a pic of the little guy in case you haven't seen him.) These are all pretty good - and long, too - so this should make up for the slacking off.
This first clip is not only entertaining, it's explains to my wife and my friend Scott's wife why Scott and I stayed up so late that one night, exclaiming that we wanted to race Rally cars. We were pretty damn serious about it (just as serious as the damage we did to the beer supply in the fridge that night) and when you see this movie, well, you will understand the intensity of it all. YES- we want to quit our jobs and RACE RALLY. <Cry like teenage girls here.> You'll never understand us!
My apologies for taking two weeks off (didn't realize it was two weeks). With all of the videos that a handful of people are sending in, it shouldn't be hard for me to put this stuff up. I won't bore you with my reasons why (like my recent surgery, (< see that's called a teaser and is usually used to induce guilt)), let's just get back to the business.
I had a hard time coming up with a title for number 2, which you've probably seen already. This issue is a major one where I live. According to my lawn guy (Margarito), those day laborers at the Home Depot here don't do a lick of work. He has hired them in the past and most of them tell him that they don't know how to use a lawnmower! So, don't feel bad for these guys.
Quick one this week - as I am running late for work. Yeah, even when you own the place, you have to go in. We are revisiting Ghost Rider's Hayabusa Turbo this Friday because the Ghost Rider drives like he is always late - and so do I.
Many thanks to the recent contributors: Easterling, Riemer, MacPherson, Compau, Koch, Dawalt, Killam, Benwell, Wolf, and others. I do appreciate the submissions. If I haven't used them, it's probably because I've either seen them, or have chosen not to use them for other reasons, but thank you for taking the time to send stuff, it really helps me out - especially with this baby on the way and looking like he's going to pop out here in a few weeks or so. My time to burn on the 'net is dwindling quickly.
Earthlink amount is actually $17,898.98 and it appears that they have credited me back most of the money. They actually physically tried to charge my credit card (which is connected to my checking account) the amount listed above TWICE this month - once on the 3rd and again on the 5th. Sweet Jesus.
So, I'm in the middle of exercising my right to silence in regards to the $14,500
Let's face it: these "Police Dogs" could be smoked swiftly. I mean, fight back, man, before you let a pooch drag your ass out of a van loaded with weapons, packed up and ready to go. I'm still working on my explanation "movie" about the whole Earthlink thing (I haven't really started it yet, but I know what I want to do - so we're close). I'll try to get that baby to be Friday's submission next week.
So I get an e-mail from this guy named Roy, who tells me that he happened across my Friday Page in the "deep, dark hours of the quiet night shift here at the power plant." I'm thinking that's great, since that's what we're here for - to provide multimedia entertainment distractions to people who should otherwise be working important jobs. Then Roy sends me a couple flicks that are definite Friday material and I look a little closer at his e-mail address and I figure out that Roy and his power plant are in New Zealand. A couple months ago, I swapped some e-mails with another Friday Page visitor from Bermuda. Man, this Internet thing sure was a great idea, you know? So, these first two babies are courtesy of our Kiwi friend, Roy.
Whenever the Rockets & Mavs figure out who will advance. It is for the anticipation of the second round of the Western Conference Championship, I offer you one little basketball movie here for this Friday. This is it. The rest of the day I will be in my office, playing Counterstrike: Condition Zero on my new Dell XPS with a 24" Dell flat screen. That's what I'll be doing all day.
Earl Weaver was the manager of the Baltimore Orioles back in the 60s. You may have heard his "tirade" below before - it's floated around the net for a bit. This little clip was not actually aired - it was a joke Earl did before they went to record the show. However, the Bobby Knight bit - now that's the real deal, I'll tell ya. That's passion.
