Friday Goods are Here
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The most recent Friday submissions are up top. This started many years ago, as a Friday morning comfort piece for the working crowd. We all hate work, but Fridays are great, and what's better than some funny stuff on Friday?
 

 
Date |File Name |File Size & Type  

 

Patriotic Stuff Like Waterboarding
There are some large files here... just no other way to do some of these because I can't stand choppy clips and I won't do flash. It's a Friday Page ramp up to an All American holiday weekend. That last eagle flick is a real slice of American Pride.

 
07.03.09 | Waterboarding (really) | 18MB WMV  
07.03.09 | Pole Dancing Championships | 7MB WMV  
07.03.09 | Knob Creek Machine Gun Shoot | 6MB WMV  
07.03.09 | UFC Ass Kicking Jamboree | 20MB WMV (LANGUAGE)  
07.03.09 | American Eagle | 19MB WMV  

 

Swift, Silent, Deadly - I'm GONE
Summer trips are coming up in the next week or two, so I may miss a Friday.

 
06.19.09 | Massage for Supermodels | 5MB WMV  
06.19.09 | Monkeys on the Hood of Your Car | 4MB WMV  
06.19.09 | Smart Little Girl | 6MB WMV  
06.19.09 | Jumbo Landing | 1MB WMV  
06.19.09 | Mozart for Two - On Guitar | 15MB WMV  

 

You're Rather Attractive for a
Beautiful Girl with a Great Body

 
06.12.09 | Your Favorite Wal-Mart Greeter | 4MB PPS (TITS+BUSH)  
06.12.09 | F-35 Takeoff Recovery | 500KB WMV  
06.12.09 | Muslim Demographics | 25MB WMV  
06.12.09 | Big Piano | 5MB WMV  
06.12.09 | Blown Tractor Engine | 7MB WMV  
06.12.09 | Tits. Sports. Funny Shit. | 1MB WMV (TITS & SHIT)  

 

Hey - Uh, Your Face is on Fire
Look - let's talk seriously, I think your friend Billy might be dead.

 
06.05.09 | Electrical Guide Wire = Bad | 5MB WMV (FACE ON FIRE)  
06.05.09 | Winning the Lotto (nice!) | 13MB WMV (LANGUAGE)  
06.05.09 | Hard Left! | 2MB WMV  
06.05.09 | Towing the Tow Truck | 2MB WMV  
06.05.09 | Southwest Air Rhyme | 7MB WMV  

 

You're Not Being the Ball, Danny.
Done & Out. Have a good weekend.

 
05.29.09 | Golf Ball Prank | 3MB WMV  
05.29.09 | Go Panthers! | 3MB WMV (TITS!)  
05.29.09 | Fastest Gunman in the World | 18MB WMV  
05.29.09 | Culvert Breakdown | 8MB WMV  
05.29.09 | Toe Jam | 6MB WMV  
05.29.09 | Safety at Work Awards | 3MB PPS  

 

Some Gritty Content
I don't usually put up stuff that should be on ogrish.com, but right now I'm in a hurry and I'm just going to count on you being adult about it.

 
05.22.09 | Bad Way to Go: Piranha Food | 1MB PPS (GRUESOME!)  
05.22.09 | Happy Little Penguin Buddy | 9MB WMV  
05.22.09 | When Elk Fight Back | 3MB WMV  
05.22.09 | Hey Curly, Your Mom Home? | 2MB WMV  
05.22.09 | Steal a Car with a Plunger | 3MB WMV  

 

Paris Rendezvous
The original info here may not be completely accurate - more info is here about the "making of" this movie.

The driver completed the course in about 9 minutes, reaching nearly 140 MPH in some stretches. The footage reveals him running real red lights, nearly hitting real pedestrians, and driving the wrong way up real one-way streets. Upon showing the film in public for the first time, Lelouch was arrested. He has never revealed the identity of the driver, and the film went underground.

 
05.15.09 | Rendezvous in Paris | 24MB WMV  
05.15.09 | Choo Choo Snow Plow | 1MB WMV  
05.15.09 | How to Land a Job Today | 2MB WMV  
05.15.09 | How to Move a Wire Spool | 1MB WMV  
05.15.09 | Foodscapes Slideshow | 2MB PPS  

 

Daniel Simpson Day: has no grade point average, all courses incomplete.
The Golden Eagle is an intelligent raptor. He understands the power of gravity is stronger than anything he could dish out. There was a lot to this video - 12 minutes in fact - but I chopped it down to the basics. Probably more of it available at YouTube if you search.

 
05.08.09 | American in a Turkish Bikini Shop | 6MB WMV  
05.08.09 | Boss Alarm | 2MB WMV  
05.08.09 | Golden Eagle Drops | 2MB WMV  
05.08.09 | Ted Nugent's Side of the Story | 4MB WMV  
05.08.09 | Cool History About Dollar Bill | 1MB PPS  

 
Cinderella Story.
"He's about 455 yards away, he's gonna hit about a 2 iron, I think." The last piece here is interesting, but we're not 100% certain if that's really the driver, and even if it is, what he is doing, finishing the texting he started when he crashed?
 
05.01.09 | Eastern Bloc Drunkard | 2MB WMV  
05.01.09 | The Shii for Her | 5MB WMV  
05.01.09 | The Subaru's 4WD Water Skills | 4MB WMV  
05.01.09 | Vocapeople, Human Sound | 13MB WMV  
05.01.09 | Lucky Sucker in RS6 | 1MB PPS  

 

This Isn't Russia. Is This Russia?
The music in "Lion Named Christian" is not my choice - it would never be my choice. Interesting story, but how much better could the story be without that hag howling all over the place?

 
04.24.09 | College Humor's Flame War | 7MB WMV (language)  
04.24.09 | Last Day on the Job at Home Depot | 2MB WMV  
04.24.09 | Third World Dentist | 8MB WMV  
04.24.09 | Lion Named Christian | 7MB WMV  
04.24.09 | Don't Mess with Panda | 9MB WMV  

 

As Long As I Get My Rent Money Next Friday.
Next Friday come, and I couldn't get the rent...

 
04.17.09 | Today's Retard Report | 5MB WMV  
04.17.09 | Crazy Moto Trail | 2MB WMV  
04.17.09 | Barber of Seville via Drums (long but cool) | 11MB WMV  
04.17.09 | The Backup! | 11MB WMV  
04.17.09 | Bruce Lee Commercial (cool CGI) |  
04.17.09 | A Little Aviation Show in Powerpoint | 4MB PPS  

 

Play Ball!
I don't run hit-in-the-nut jokes because the first one I saw 20 years ago was the only one that was funny. I think Rolling Rock gets that too.

 
04.10.09 | Rolling Rock Commercial Opening Day | 7MB WMV  
04.10.09 | US 1549 Landing in the Hudson Animation | 6MB WMV  
04.10.09 | Report: Chance | 20MB WMV  
04.10.09 | Extreme Pepsi Max Ad | 2MB WMV  
04.10.09 | Retards with Handguns | 7MB WMV  

 

Slick.
Was out of town last week, so I missed the page... here are a couple extras...

 
04.03.09 | Hero Dog | 4MB WMV  
04.03.09 | Sleeping Dog | 1MB WMV  
04.03.09 | Bathroom Humor 1 | 4MB WMV  
04.03.09 | Bathroom Humor 2 | 2MB WMV  
04.03.09 | Mom the Lone Ranger | 12MB WMV  
04.03.09 | Smashmouth Soccer | 1MB WMV  
04.03.09 | Special Wedding Day Name Combos | 1MB PPS  

 

People Don't Say That About You, As Far As You Know
On top of two deadlines - I'm outta here.

 
03.20.09 | Brainiac Alkali Metals for the Science Buffs | 11MB WMV  
03.20.09 | Kinetic Art by Tim Fort for the Art Buffs | 14MB WMV  
03.20.09 | Buzzing the Bay for the Jet Buffs | 2MB WMV  
03.20.09 | Beer Dominoes for the Beer Buffs | 5MB WMV  
03.20.09 | Anything is Possible With Practice for Everyone | 14MB WMV  

 

Railguns, Snowboards and Ninjas
These could be some of the best combinable things in the universe. Ninjas riding snowboards with rail guns on swiveling belt/body turrets a la "Drake" from Aliens.

 
03.13.09 | Going Hard Snowboarding | 8MB WMV  
03.13.09 | Railguns of the Near Future | 5MB WMV  
03.13.09 | The Boone County Ninja | 11MB WMV  
03.13.09 | Timber Harvesting Automation (cool!) | 11MB WMV  
03.13.09 | Ordering Pizza in the Near Future | 3MB WMV  

 

Can't Sleep - Clowns Will Eat Me
When your head is so full of snot that you can create a snare drum with a pencil and your forehead, it's probably time to get antibiotics or something.

 
03.06.09 | Sony Releases New Piece of Shit (Onion) | 12MB WMV (language)  
03.06.09 | Little Country Music to Lighten the Mood | 2MB WMV  
03.06.09 | Sam the Bellhop Magic Trick | 4MB WMV  
03.06.09 | Modern Day Concrete Pump | 8MB WMV  
03.06.09 | The Incredible Racket Man (wow) | 12MB WMV  

 

Any of You 'Homos' Touch Me... I'll Kill Ya
Have only 57 seconds today? Then the first one here is just for you. Also - I fixed the broken link from last week - "The Celebrities From Missouri" file is working and is worth a look.

 
02.27.09 | Hartford 911 Call (audio)| 100K WAV  
02.27.09 | A Human Touch | 6MB WMV  
02.27.09 | Unique WD40 Use | 2MB WMV  
02.27.09 | Cougar Barbie | 4MB WMV  
02.27.09 | Stranded on a Desert Island (Bud Light) | 3MB WMV  

 

Powerpoint Friday
A few Powerpoint entries today, and an apology to our Aussie friends - I overlooked your Aus day last month, so there is a little something to make up for it in the last entry.

 
02.20.09 | If Celebrities Were From Missouri | 1MB PPS  
02.20.09 | Nordic Winters | 2MB PPS  
02.20.09 | Mighty Airbus A380 | 2MB PPS  
02.20.09 | Tricycle Jump - Pastrana | 3MB WMV  
02.20.09 | Australia Day | 4MB WMV  

 

Weird Stuff for Friday 13th
We've always heard the more things change, the more they stay the same. I would say this first flick today pretty much sums up what we all already know about the new president: talks a good game, but cannot, or will not, truly change anything with Washington being a bunch of wholly incompetent, befuddled, corrupted asshats. The last flick? Freaks me OUT.

 
02.13.09 | It's All About Change, Right? | 5MB WMV  
02.13.09 | Lazytown Featuring Lil John (requested) | 5MB WMV (language)  
02.13.09 | Frickin' LASERBEAMS | 7MB WMV  
02.13.09 | A Blurry Line Between Fresh Food and LIVE Food | 17MB WMV  

 

Talk to the Hand
Just look at it - it's stereotypically humorous. Thanks to everyone for sending goodies in - I've received the Durex commercial a lot, which means people must like it!

 
02.06.09 | Creative Durex Commercial | 1MB WMV  
02.06.09 | Worldwide Air Traffic Video Map | 4MB WMV  
02.06.09 | DUI on a Lawnmower | 7MB WMV  
02.06.09 | Condition: Worse | 750K WMV  
02.06.09 | Driveway: Hidden | 5MB WMV  

 

The Top Five Vids from 2008 (viewed more than 100,000 times):
Auto-Shotgun | Camino Del Ray | Incident Action Report | Pussy Stripper | Dog Be Gone

Today's first vid is best seen in hi-res, so I kept it that way and it clocks in at 25MB... pull it and watch it later or whatever you need to do, but it's worth the wait to see it in full res.

 
01.30.09 | The Flying Men | 25MB WMV  
01.30.09 | Robbie Maddison's Big Jump | 9MB WMV  
01.30.09 | Penn & Teller's Blast Off | 13MB WMV  
01.30.09 | US Airways Flight 1549 | 4MB PPS  

 

Sit Around & Gather By the Fire
I question the last one because it seems too easy - if you actually do this trick for some kind of audience, how do you end up flubbing it? I do not, however, have any questions about the first video - 'cept maybe you got more 'o dat?

 
01.23.09 | Terrorists' Last Camp Fire | 4MB WMV  
01.23.09 | Dave Letterman Does Taco Bell | 12MB WMV  
01.23.09 | Knife Roulette (fake?) | 2MB WMV  

 

Gambling is Illegal at Bushwood, Sir
Pressed for time? Watch the first flick (do a shoulder / volume check first) and then the last one.

 
01.16.09 | The Bartender Lays it Out | 1MB WMV NSFW(language)  
01.16.09 | Waterslide Commute | 5MB WMV  
01.16.09 | Don't Need Pockets | 3MB WMV  
01.16.09 | Japanese Mall Fountain | 13MB WMV  
01.16.09 | Sponsor an Executive | 4MB WMV  

 

Clever Stuff
Per last week's commentary - it could always be worse. You could be part of the Waffle House Weddin' you see below. This is Georgia Son!

 
01.09.09 | The Black Hole | 6MB WMV  
01.09.09 | The Closet | 5MB WMV  
01.09.09 | The Streaker | 4MB WMV  
01.09.09 | The Waffle House Wedding | 3MB PPS  
01.09.09 | The Stand By Me Happy New Year File | 11MB WMV  

 

2009: Go Ahead and Bring It
Whatever is cooking, good and bad, let's just get it on already. I suppose it can always be worse, but really, we just need ...

 
01.02.09 | More Pranks | 3MB WMV  
01.02.09 | More Cool Cars | 2MB WMV  
01.02.09 | More Dummies | 2MB WMV  
01.02.09 | More Cool Tricks | 9MB WMV  
01.02.09 | More Bad Guys Getting Wrapped Up | 7MB WMV  

 

I Live in the Desert, So Winter is Warm
And it rarely feels like December or January or whatever. Until now - I'm out of town in my wife's hometown of St Louis, where one of the temperatures last week was five. Five degrees. So here's some snow vids & a great lesson in classical music and miniguns.

 
12.26.08 | Jingle Bells Ringing Indeed | 3MB WMV  
12.26.08 | Snow Crash or Crashes in Snow | 7MB WMV  
12.26.08 | Newfoundland Police Chase | 2MB WMV  
12.26.08 | Now We've Been Cultured with Classical Music | 6MB WMV  

 

Merry Christmas Friday Pagers
Thank you for another great year in 2008.

 
12.19.08 | My Favorite Holiday Video Every Year | 3MB WMV  
12.19.08 | Base Jumping with the Bat Suit | 11MB WMV  
12.19.08 | Supporting the Troops Coming Home | 12MB WMV  
12.19.08 | A Lucky Buck & Shitty Shot | 1MB WMV  
12.19.08 | Baxter Black Explains Thankfulness | 6MB WMV  
12.19.08 | Photos with Santa | 1MB PPS  

 

Simple Friday with Meager Offerings
I've received some of these a few times, so you may have seen them - maybe not.

 
12.12.08 | Wheelbarrows in America; Dudes in Bangladesh | 6MB WMV  
12.12.08 | Christmas Light Extravaganza (the best one of these is still here) | 4MB WMV  
12.12.08 | Maury's Home Paternity Test | 2MB WMV NSFW(language)  
12.12.08 | Harmonica Skillz | 7MB WMV  
12.12.08 | Watching the Translator | 5MB WMV  

 

Things That Never Pan Out (see last movie today)
Why is it when scientists pop up with some outlandish idea (remember the a-hole who figured out how to make a combustible engine run on water - it's down the list here somewhere from several months ago) that seems like it's going to revolutionize the world, they get all kinds of airplay and press, and then ten years later we're all sitting around driving the same shitty gas hogs and pandering to Arab terrorists while muttering, "Whatever happened to that dick who invented the algae oil?"

 
12.05.08 | Polish Polar Bear Club | 4MB WMV  
12.05.08 | Third Race at Honeymoon Downs (old/good) | 3MB AVI  
12.05.08 | Visa James Bond Commercial | 7MB WMV  
12.05.08 | Bud Light - Opera Rookies | 2MB WMV  
12.05.08 | Rule the World with Algae (whatever) | 10MB WMV  

 

Happy Thanksgiving America
It might not seem like it sometimes, but there are some things to be thankful for. Here are a few that come to mind. Out.

 
11.28.08 | Onboard Dash Cams | 5MB WMV  
11.28.08 | Stupid Wii Controllers | 4MB WMV  
11.28.08 | Little Fieldstrippers | 4MB WMV  
11.28.08 | SAS Operators on Firing Range | 3MB WMV  

 

Hi Ho. Hi Ho.
There's a FLASH version of the 'Gymkhana' flick here available elsewhere if 16MB is too big for ya... I got this from quite a few people, but here's one spot.

 
11.21.08 | That "VOG" Don Fontaine | 1MB WMV  
11.21.08 | Gymkhana - Gay Name But Awesome Moves | 16MB WMV  
11.21.08 | Crazy Ivan - Russkie Road Rage | 5MB WMV  
11.21.08 | Spice Up Your Life | 3MB WMV  
11.21.08 | Bud Light's Swear Jar (old / good) | 3MB WMV  

 

Uh, Everything's Under Control - Situation Normal

 
11.14.08 | We Had a Slight Weapons Malfunction, But Uh | 2MB WMV  
11.14.08 | Everything's Perfectly Alright Now | 10MB WMV  
11.14.08 | We're Fine. We're All Fine Here Now, Thank You | 1MB WMV NSFW(language)  
11.14.08 | How Are You? | 2MB WMV  
11.14.08 | Uh, Um, Negative - We Have a Reactor Leak Here | 4MB WMV  

 

Capitalism and Free Enterprise vs. Socialism and Welfare
Strength does not come from winning. Your struggles develop your strengths. When you go through hardships and decide not to surrender, that is strength. --Arnold Schwarzenegger

I figured this might be a good time to visit some fading Republican themes that have made up these Friday entries from the f'n get-go: guns, weapons of war, etc.

Find out more about the F-35 here. Find out where other Republicans will be traveling in early 2009, with fat F'n carry-on bags here. Adios.

 
11.07.08 | Knock Knock. Who Dat? | 295K PPS  
11.07.08 | USMC F-35B STOVL First Flight | 3MB WMV  
11.07.08 | Going to Machine Gun Camp (old/good) | 3MB WMV  
11.07.08 | Denny Crane & Gun Control | 4MB WMV  
11.07.08 | Crazy Hungarian Sniper Instructor | 3MB WMV  

 

All Hallow's Eve!
It's tough to top last year's Robot Chicken Halloween pieces... here and here. Happy Halloween!

 
10.31.08 | The Hallowindow (cool!)| 7MB WMV  
10.31.08 | The Cemetary Prank | 6MB WMV  
10.31.08 | The Skeleton Striptease | 4MB WMV
 
10.31.08 | The Skeleton Prank | 6MB WMV  
10.31.08 | Scare Me, Thrill Me | 4MB WMV  
10.31.08 | Pumpkins Carved Up | 2MB PPS  

 

This Babe is Whacked!
Some lessons of what NOT to do this weekend...

 
10.24.08 | Do Not LOITER | 1MB WMV  
10.24.08 | Do Not LOOT | 5MB WMV  
10.24.08 | Do Not DISTURB the Bear | 6MB WMV  
10.24.08 | Do Not DRINK TOO MUCH & BANG SOME SKANK | 1MB WMV  

 
More Deadlines - Me Gone
This is last minute entry - on my way out the door to do a press check.
 
10.17.08 | Best Skater Video I've Seen in a Long Time | 2MB WMV  
10.17.08 | Things Aren't Always As They Appear | 2MB WM  
10.17.08 | Hot Dog Funny - Gotten This a Few Times | 2MB WMV  
10.17.08 | Where's the Chips? | 5MB WMV  

 

Parties and Celebrations
The incredibly clever work by Diesel here shows some great "Safe For Work" porn. Quality stuff. I also don't usually pass along the "inspirational" posters, but these were okay. Here here and here.

 
10.10.08 | Your Invite for Diesel's Big Party | 2MB WMV *SORTA SAFE*  
10.10.08 | Fifth Anniversary of "Apache Glory" | 12MB WMV  
10.10.08 | Why is This So Funny? | 3MB WMV *SORTA SAFE - ONE CUSS WORD @ END*  

 

More Deadlines.
I'm publishing three different publications now, so it seems like there's a deadline every other week. So, this is quick and simple stuff. Adios.

 
10.03.08 | Metal Storm - Ensuring Victory | 3MB WMV  
10.03.08 | Magic 1 | 2MB WMV  
10.03.08 | Magic 2 | 4MB WMV  
10.03.08 | Magic 3 | 4MB WMV  
10.03.08 | Prank: Conveyor Belt Gig | 5MB WMV  

 

Touch Too Much
What a colossal slutfuck this whole American corporate bailout is. Isn't this supposed to be a shining beacon of Capitalism and Free Enterprise for the rest of the world? Wow. In lighter news, the car thief and meth addict in the second flick is worth all four minutes and forty seconds of your time, but if pressed, I would highly suggest watching at the 2:15 mark. Ruch: Did you live in Canada for a while (3:15 - 3:42)?

 
09.26.08 | Speaking of America: Here's One of Our New Pilots | 2MB WMV  
09.26.08 | Here's a Canadian Car Thief/Tweaker (More Info) | 10MB WMV  
09.26.08 | Here's a Nautical Disaster | 4MB WMV  
09.26.08 | 100 Movie Numbers - the Centennial Edition | 18MB WMV  

 

Jib Jab Mish Mosh
Miscellaneous funnies - I'm on deadline, so that's all from me...

 
09.19.08 | Special Bug Eating Report | 2MB WMV (language)  
09.19.08 | Jesse Jackson: What He Really Said | 4MB WMV  
09.19.08 | Jib Jab: Time for Some Campaignin' | 9MB WMV  
09.19.08 | Trouble in Paradise | 4MB WMV  
09.19.08 | Sweet Snickers Commercial | 2MB WMV  

 

Aussies Need a Day Off, Too
From Dave in Oz, regarding the The Ultimate Pub on 09.05.08: "The XXXX (four ex) beer truck is legit, I’ve seen it. Clearly an add for beer, which originates in the Australian state of Queensland. Not sure of a US comparison, but Queensland is essentially a cross between California and Florida. There is a saying in Australia… 'Queensland, a beautiful place, a place God created - but why he filled it full of dickheads nobody knows….' The reason why the Beer is called XXXX is because Queenslanders have trouble spelling B-E-E-R!" Thanks for the info, Dave!

 
09.12.08 | The Aussies Need Another Day Off | 5MB WMV  
09.12.08 | Suffering From Nozzle Rage? | 4MB WMV  
09.12.08 | Some of Leno's Great 'Interviews' (old but good) | 8MB WMV  
09.12.08 | Ghost Rider - Breaking Speed Limits via BMX | 5MB WMV  
09.12.08 | Ghost Rider - 'Final Ride' - Right | 15MB WMV  

 
09.11.08 | September 11, 2001 - NYC | 3MB PPS  

 

Graduated Head of Class, Majored in Kickin' Ass
American Football started last night. That's goddamn right. Last year's Fantasy Football Song was a good kickoff to the season. This year we'll do it just a little different - the Barry Sanders piece is a little long, and only true fans of the guy will be able to watch all that juking without puking.

 
09.05.08 | A Motherfuckin' Breakdown | 4MB WMV  
09.05.08 | Barry Sanders: Best Running Back Ever? | 14MB WMV  
09.05.08 | Why Barry Sanders Left the NFL | 8MB WMV  
09.05.08 | Master Card Stacker | 5MB WMV  
09.05.08 | Deer IN the Headlights | 2MB WMV  
09.05.08 | The Ultimate Pub (any Aussie friends seen this?) | 3MB PPS  

 

Vacation Ends Tomorrow
Suddenly, this year seems kind of sucky. Funny how gray the skies turn when that vacation time evaporates. Why does vacation time go by three times faster than office time? These are the secrets of the universe I guess. It's a dog's life - and this week's theme as well.

 
08.29.08 | Broke Dick Dog | 3MB WMV  
08.29.08 | Meet Mollie! | 1MB WMV  
08.29.08 | Meet My Shitty Pug | 2MB WMV  
08.29.08 | Getting Rid of One Night Stand | 4MB WMV  
08.29.08 | Fireman's Ladder Competition | 1MB WMV  
08.29.08 | Dump That Bitch! (long but good) | 2MB MP3  

 

Vacation Starts Now
Off to California for a week. Update should still happen next Friday.

 
08.22.08 | Vader Goes the Movies | 2MB WMV  
08.22.08 | Little Crane Problem in Jacksonville | 3MB WMV  
08.22.08 | Parrot from a Household with Babies | 2MB WMV  
08.22.08 | She's a Tricky Chick | 3MB WMV  
08.22.08 | Mind Like a Steel Trap | 2MB WMV  
08.22.08 | Sound FX from Whose Line? | 7MB WMV  

 

Yep, It's the Sometimes Every OTHER Friday Page
But hey, it's better than the nofuckingfridayatall page.

 
08.15.08 | Theme: Olympians Who Are Not | 5MB WMV  
08.15.08 | Super Gardener (Airwolf Theme: TIGHT) | 2MB WMV  
08.15.08 | Billiards & Dominos | 4MB WMV  
08.15.08 | Army Strong! | 200K PDF  
08.15.08 | Perfect Vacation Spot | 3MB WMV  
08.15.08 | A Lullaby That Works | 4MB WMV  
08.15.08 | Lock the Bathroom | 2MB WMV  
08.15.08 | Men's Antique Road Show | 2MB WMV  

 

Updates Schmupdates.
I really did update last Friday, but failed to upLOAD the page until earlier this week. Scattered sleep makes one do things they normally wouldn't. I'm putting up the elephant humor piece because I seem to get it once a week or so - from friendly folks who are delighted to pass it along. I haven't used it before because I quietly questioned the authenticity of the flick. Anyway, here 'tis.

 
08.01.08 | When Your Truck is Stuck - a Guide | 1MB PPS  
08.01.08 | The Mighty Pistol Shrimp (by request) | 5MB WMV  
08.01.08 | Pay Yer Frickin' Bills | 3MB WMV  
08.01.08 | A Rather Ironic Landing | 4MB WMV  
08.01.08 | Elephant Humor | 2MB WMV  
08.01.08 | Uncle Jay Explains the News | 4MB WMV  

 

Sleepy Time
'Till next week... <yawn>.

 
07.25.08 | That's a Big Snake, Honcho | 2MB WMV  
07.25.08 | Loading Up the Bobcat | 2MB WMV  
07.25.08 | Hitting the Drive Thru Teller | 1MB WMV  
07.25.08 | 10 Illusions | 6MB WMV  
07.25.08 | Miley Cyrus Shortage (Onion) | 6MB WMV  

 

I Was Born My Poppa's Son, When I Hit the Ground I Was On the Run.
Another Beer Drinker and Hell Raiser hits the dirt: our son Noah was born last week; 8 lbs. 2 oz. healthy happy and wise. He's the loudest goddamn thing I've heard in a long time. Eight pounds of sheer volume. Sleep is just a distant memory; like a really good barbecue sandwich I ate a long time ago.

 
07.18.08 | It's a Boy! | 1MB WMV  
07.18.08 | Daddies & Babies | 3MB WMV  
07.18.08 | Yoga for Moms & Babies | 3MB WMV  
07.18.08 | Bad Date | 2MB WMV  
07.18.08 | Serious Logistics | 1MB PPS  
07.18.08 | Neck Belts Recalled (Onion) | 4MB WMV  

 

Nothing is Over Until We Decide It Is!
Happy Independence Day to the American viewers... most of us will spend this long glorious weekend drinking beer, cooking on the barbecue, and eventually, lighting fire to ass rockets (see last flick). I know we've done that one before, but it's befitting. The first movie you might have seen. More info about the complete project behind this here. Happy Fourth!

 
07.04.08 | Freedom Never Cries | 18MB WMV  
07.04.08 | Steven Seagal's New Flick (thanks Onion) | 11MB WMV  
07.04.08 | The High-Brow 'Review' of Seagal's New Flick (more Onion) | 10MB WMV  
07.04.08 | Dominoes | 7MB WMV  
07.04.08 | Do You Have an Incident Action Plan? | 3MB WMV  
07.04.08 | Talked into the Ass Rocket | 4MB WMV  

 

Have Another Beer Larry, She's Just Kidding
Thank you for the overwhelming concern to the Friday Page... I can appreciate that no one really cares if I'M okay or not, just where are the fuckin' movies? I love that about this page. Totally uncomplicated.

 
06.27.08 | Engineering Trust: The Stratosphere | 2MB PPS  
06.27.08 | Cagney & Lacey: Reduced to Fart Jokes | 8MB WMV  
06.27.08 | 30 Second Balloon Popping Jamboree | 10MB WMV  
06.27.08 | A Hard Right Turn Slightly Overshot | 1MB WMV  
06.27.08 | USMC Answering Machine | 1MB WAV  
06.27.08 | Chinook Water Pickup (from last summer, but it keeps coming in!) | 13MB WMV  
06.27.08 | John McCain Sings Streisand | 5MB WMV  
06.27.08 | Driving a Humvee in Iraq (!) | 7MB WMV  

 

Garanimals
Cleaning some of these out of the inbox... the last one here is a bit hardcore. The dude with his melon butterflied like a leg of lamb is fine - just a little headache, I guess.

 
06.06.08 | Lion Love | 2MB WMV  
06.06.08 | Dogs! | 3MB WMV  
06.06.08 | Thieves! | 2MB WMV  
06.06.08 | Dancing Queen | 3MB WMV  
06.06.08 | Clydesdale American Dream | 2MB WMV  
06.06.08 | Lion Indifference | 4MB WMV  

 

Get F-ing Gone
This first clip is explained as follows: second baby will be here in six weeks. High Command issued a new directive: the Z4 Roadster must be replaced by family car. I chose the color "Mercury Metallic" (silver).

 
05.30.08 | The New Lexus IS-F | 12MB WMV  
05.30.08 | How to Stack Tires | 3MB WMV  
05.30.08 | The Big Test | 1MB WMV  
05.30.08 | Pussy on the Stripper Pole | 3MB WMV  
05.30.08 | The Police Department's Answering Machine | 200K WMV  

 

Chop Chop!
Gotta go - will hold my miscellaneous musings over until next week.

 
05.23.08 | Solid Gold Daytons (classic) | 5MB WMV  
05.23.08 | VW Love (idiocy) | 4MB WMV  
05.23.08 | Free Hugs | 6MB WMV  
05.23.08 | When You Gotta Go | 4MB WMV  
05.23.08 | Important Safety Tip | 7MB WMV  

 

Walk on the Wild Side
This first clip is long and large - this info about the fascinating piece: "Originally built in 1901, this walkway now serves as an approach to makinodromo, the famous climbing sector of El Chorro." Head to Wikipedia if you want more info. The Frontier Demo is pretty sweet, too. Out.

 
05.16.08 | El Camino Del Ray Amazing Walk | 27MB WMV  
05.16.08 | Superdrifting on Two Wheels | 2MB WMV  
05.16.08 | Dressing Room Prank | 7MB WMV  
05.16.08 | Frontier Demolition | 5MB WMV  

 

Saw your mama kickin' a can down the street so I asked her what she was doin'. She said, "movin'."
Missed last week because we was movin' - into a house while we remodel ours. You want life to suck like a shitty cup of coffee? Whip up a remodel of your home when your wife is 7 months pregnant and you're about 2 weeks away from Mercury-esque summer temperatures. Pick up all your shit and move into another house - a much smaller house - where you can't even get Tivo. Then toss in a hellacious work schedule, three new employees you need to train, and stir in general economic malaise. It's tasty!

 
05.09.08 | A Little Better IED Story | 1MB PPS  
05.09.08 | Any Ideas on Your Lotto Winnings? | 1MB WMV  
05.09.08 | Jingle Balls Interrupts Golf Game | 3MB WMV  
05.09.08 | Jingle Balls Nearly Sent Into Orbit | 1MB WMV  
05.09.08 | Safe Saw (Testing w/ Hot Dog? C'mon. Use Your Fucking Hand) | 2MB WMV  
05.09.08 | Hot Shot Monkey Motherfucker | 1MB WMV  

 

Punched By a Girl, Cry Like a Girl
If this ever happens to you, and you don't offer to buy the video from your friend who is laughing at your newfound dental misfortune, you deserve the subsequent Internet stardom that comes your way. For more on the IED (full video), head here.

 
04.25.08 | An IED Takes Iraqi Volunteers Out | 3MB WMV (language)  
04.25.08 | Taking a Punch From a Hottie | 4MB WMV  
04.25.08 | Mammoth Water Slide | 5MB WMV  
04.25.08 | A Very Long Shot | 3MB WMV  
04.25.08 | Dog-Be-Gone .50 Cal Groundhog Day | 2MB WMV  
04.25.08 | An Awareness Test | 3MB WMV  

 

Burning Inside
Regarding the first flick - how a reporter can be impartial and abstain from thin-slicing the eyeballs out some of these imbeciles is completely beyond me. Rob Riggle, I bow to your power. Semper Fi.

 
04.18.08 | Marines in Berkeley | 12MB WMV  
04.18.08 | Train's Coming - Move Your Ass | 1MB WMV  
04.18.08 | Finding That Long Lost Love | 6MB WMV  
04.18.08 | From Our Aussie Air Traffic Control Friends | 6MB WMV  
04.18.08 | Dane Cook Gets Blown | 7MB WMV (Do I have to put a NSFW here? C'mon.)  

 

Brief Friday
Once again, a deadline interferes with my Friday.

 
04.11.08 | Big Dog Will Soon Hunt | 9MB WMV  
04.11.08 | Build an Airbus in Four Minutes | 8MB WMV  
04.11.08 | First & Last Woman on the Moon Footage | 1MB WMV  

 

Just Walk Away and I Spare You Lives
What a puny plan. I had Road Warrior on Laser Disc (the big, dinner-plate sized things) and now I have it on HD-DVD - all I need now is a Betamax version.

 
04.04.08 | Reporting Live from the Slopes | 2MB WMV  
04.04.08 | Tomorrow's Job Market | 5MB WMV  
04.04.08 | Cannonballing the Baptism Tub | 3MB WMV  
04.04.08 | Game Show Blondes of Yesterday | 2MB WMV  
04.04.08 | Game Show Blondes of Modern Times | 5MB WMV  
04.04.08 | Jay Thomas Tells His Lone Ranger Story | 15MB WMV  

 

It's All About the Laughs
I'm pretty sure the Crazy Talk Show piece is fake, and I really hope it is. The idea of that bunch of dumbasses choreographing that fine display of showmanship makes me laugh harder than the nonsensical shit they are doing to each other - except maybe the flying crane kick - that's pretty sweet sugar, baby.

 
03.28.08 | (AUDIO) Calling the Navy Recruiter | 3MB WMV  
03.28.08 | When the Boss is Sick | 2MB WMV  
03.28.08 | One Monkey. No Cup. | 2MB WMV  
03.28.08 | Cucumber Sandwiches | 3MB WMV  
03.28.08 | Pure Baby Laughter | 3MB MP3  
03.28.08 | Crazy-Ass Talk Show | 2MB WMV  

 

Fun Fixings for Friday
Looks like "My Name is Bruce" has a fairly tight demographic, eh? If you're a fan of Bruce Campbell, then you should enjoy this one. Check out more at Bruce's site.

 
03.21.08 | My Name is Bruce | 5MB WMV  
03.21.08 | What You Need: A Jetpack | 4MB WMV  
03.21.08 | What You Need: A Flashlight | 4MB WMV  
03.21.08 | What You Need: Power Windows | 3MB WMV  
03.21.08 | The Front Fell Off | 5MB WMV  
03.21.08 | Spirit of St Patty's Day | 2MB WMV  

 

Is It Real?
There's been this rash of highly creative - and highly doctored - vids that have mostly hit the commercial market. I've put a couple in this Friday's submission. Seems that everyone wants to create the "WOW" ad that seals the deal immediately. Speaking of sealing the deal - how about that goddamn US Government issued gas mask in the Goat Movie? "We watched him for three days after the test - he's FINE."

 
03.14.08 | 2008 Election Results Released Early | 6MB WMV  
03.14.08 | Ultimate Cubical Prank | 7MB WMV  
03.14.08 | Amazing Plane Landing | 3MB WMV  
03.14.08 | Playing Roofball | 4MB WMV  
03.14.08 | Ultimate Saucer Prank | 5MB WMV  
03.14.08 | Gassing the Goats | 5MB WMV (GRAPHIC!)  

 

The "I-Fell" Tower
PARIS - February 4, 1912: An Austrian tailor named Franz Reichelt ascended to the top of the Eiffel Tower to test his new Parachute Overcoat. At almost 1000 feet, the Eiffel Tower was the largest man-made structure in the world at the time. If everything was going to go as planned, Reichelt would "fly" or "float" down to the ground and then sell a shitload of parachute overcoats.

Judging by the movie that accompanies this historic 'jackass' moment, Reichelt himself had his doubts as he stepped up to the railing to jump. Perhaps he figured he had gone too far to back out - and god only knows what kind of bets he made with the boys in the bar. Since the movie is silent, we'll just have to imagine the distant voices below shouting, "C'mon Franz, you fuckin' PUSSY!"

Be sure to watch to the end, where you can see the "CSI" detectives of the early 20th century measuring the depth of Reichelt's impact crater. Indeed.

 
03.07.08 | Eiffel Tower Jumping | 3MB WMV  
03.07.08 | Cave Jumping | 6MB WMV  
03.07.08 | Motorcycle Jumping | 2MB WMV  
03.07.08 | Dancing With a Man | 6MB WMV  
03.07.08 | Kickass New Lynx Airlines | 5MB WMV  
03.07.08 | 99 Words for Boobs | 5MB WMV  

 

He Could Be a Fucking Bartender For All We Know!
The Rally video would be a lot better if the mountain was more of a target range. There are "cutesy" files here- had to get them out of my folder because I'm tired of looking at them every week trying to decide if I want to use them.

 
02.29.08 | Rally in the Snow | 13MB WMV  
02.29.08 | Polish Truckers | 2MB WMV  
02.29.08 | Charlie Bit Me! | 2MB WMV  
02.29.08 | The Evil Eye | 3MB WMV  
02.29.08 | Weeeeeeeeeeeee!!! Wii. | 1MB WMV  
02.29.08 | Checked Into the Boards (Fantastic-o!) | 4MB WMV  

 

Shotguns!
Found the XREP - thank you everyone who helped out in the search. One of the videos about it is below. The shotgun in the second video - the AA-12 - is just fucking scary.

 
02.22.08 | Best of Both Worlds: Taser Shotgun! | 5MB WMV  
02.22.08 | AA-12 Shotgun from Futureweapons | 14MB WMV  
02.22.08 | Wicked Stunts! | 9MB WMV  
02.22.08 | Freeze! More Info About This Here | 6MB WMV  
02.22.08 | Goose, It's Time to Buzz the Cameras | 4MB WMV  
02.22.08 | Goose, It's Time to Buzz Those Dumbasses on the Runway | 3MB WMV  

 

This Just In
Anyone know where we can find a video on the XREP shotgun? This one for one of the boys in blue who sends a lot of stuff our way. Any help is appreciated.
Short on quantity this week - but long on quality. Your results may vary.

 
02.15.08 | Glacier Show - It's Here All Week, Folks | 6.70MB WMV  
02.15.08 | A Missile in My House, Gary! | 8.10MB WMV  
02.15.08 | Space - Funky Frontier | 5.80MB WMV  
02.15.08 | Moto-Ballet | 5.70MB WMV  

 

Mein Fuhrer, I can walk!
I love this first clip -
it's a good wrap-up to the whole debacle that was the 2008 NFL Season. Regarding the last clip: a friend of mine who is on our local police force once told me this: "A fireman sitting under a tree in the shade must be hot, tired and overworked. A policeman sitting in the same spot must be a lazy son-of-a-bitch who should be fired."

 
02.08.08 | Hitler: Bloodthirsty Dictator & Huge Cowboys Fan | 9.00MB WMV  
02.08.08 | Sarah Silverman? She's Fucking Matt Damon | 14.10MB WMV  
02.08.08 | Snakes on a Plane: Early Auditions | 4.50MB WMV (language)  
02.08.08 | Spanish Phrases for Whitey's Nanny | 4.50MB WMV  
02.08.08 | Potato. Gun. | 1.85MB WMV  
02.08.08 | Policeman: Hated / Fireman: Loved | 4.30MB WMV  

 

TGIF / IFHM
You know what's great about America? Well, the Superbowl is okay, sure - but the BEST part about America is that we elect our own officials. We CHOOSE the people who are to represent THE PEOPLE of America. Sometimes these politicians turn out to be pretty good at what they do, but most of the time they are merely average at their jobs. Then, there's the elected asshole who just fucks it all up - and somehow gets everyone else at the party to drink the Kool-Aid and wait for the spaceship to come and snatch them off of Capitol Hill. See this first clip for instance...

 
02.01.08 | Shamnesty | 5.80MB WMV  
02.01.08 | IFH Mondays | 4.50MB WMV (language)  
02.01.08 | Ikea Ads - Clean Up | 2.70MB WMV  
02.01.08 | Disappearing Car Doors | 7.30MB WMV  
02.01.08 | Videoconference Slip | 1.30MB WMV  
02.01.08 | A Paper Airplane in NYC | 4.80MB WMV  

 

Face the Thing That Should Not Be
The Superfriends pieces are not new, but the Super Rats from 08.11.06 are still funny, so here ya go. As a side note, the Way of the Gun has one of the best opening scenes I've EVER seen, dialogue-wise - as is displayed in the Superfriends piece below. Mahalo.

 
01.25.08 | Superfriends + Office Space = Good Mashup | 7.80MB WMV (language)  
01.25.08 | Superfriends + Way of the Gun = Better Mashup | 4.30MB WMV (language)  
01.25.08 | Anti Piracy Overdone Just a Tad | 3.80MB WMV  
01.25.08 | Hauling Ass on a Beer Crate | 4.00MB WMV  
01.25.08 | Hauling Ass in a Copper Lambo | 5.80MB WMV  
01.25.08 | Sending the Missus to Wife School (old favorite from Man Show)| 4.00MB WMV  

 

Repo Man's got all night, every night!
I knew I was saving a few of these for a reason - you might've seen them before, but finally a few new submissions kind of match up to them, so here there are.

 
01.18.08 | Australia's Jeff Spicoli - Nice Shades, Chief | 6.70MB WMV  
01.18.08 | Australian T.P. | 1.90MB WMV  
01.18.08 | Australian Murderer "Chopper" Read Skit | 1.90MB WMV (F-WORD)  
01.18.08 | Fighting Bucky | 7.60MB WMV  
01.18.08 | Dane Cook's Take on Puking | 7.60MB WMV  
01.18.08 | Classic Party in the Stomach | 7.70MB WMV  

 

Alcoholics Unanimous.
When Foster Brooks and Dean Martin got together, the assumption was that the boys weren't quite acting so much as just having fun. An interesting note about Foster Brooks: he gave up dinking to win a bet in 1964 (quite some time before his 'lovable lush' character surfaced). "Fellow made me a $10 bet I couldn't quit, and I haven't had a drink since," said Brooks. "At the time I needed the $10." It's rumored that Dean Martin was usually just drinking apple juice, although I find that hard to believe.

 
01.11.08 | Brooks & Martin | 6.70MB WMV  
01.11.08 | Death Takes To Drink | 2.80MB WMV  
01.11.08 | You Understand, Don't You Honey? | 3.80MB WMV  
01.11.08 | Suffer From RPS? | 2.80MB WMV  
01.11.08 | Tennis: In the Boy's Genes | 2.00MB WMV  
01.11.08 | Get Your Nando Fix | 2.60MB WMV  
01.11.08 | John West Really Likes Salmon | 2.80MB WMV  
01.11.08 | Fuzzy's Bullshit Shot Beats Judge Smails | 1.80MB WMV  

 

Roots.
Videos about idiots made this page what it is - so let's give them their due and showcase them and their kind in this Friday's list. From the people who brought you: No more in '04, Still alive in '05, Banging chicks in '06, Nothing else rhymes but heaven and eleven in '07... Let's Aggravate in '08.

 
01.04.08 | Idiots. Cretins. Morons. Imbeciles. (you call it) |3.44MB WMV  
01.04.08 | Two Words (you pick 'em): Get the Fuck Off White Bear Avenue | 4.50MB WMV  
01.04.08 | This Just In From: (you choose random "li li li li li li" country) | 2.80MB WMV  
01.04.08 | Here's Mommy! (you just be happy it isn't you) | 1.00MB WMV  
01.04.08 | Just Threw Up in My Mouth a Little (you too?) | 2.90MB WMV  
01.04.08 | Gorilla Gripper (this could be you) | 2.00MB WMV  

 

MP3/WMA Treatment.
We'll finish this year with a single powerpoint presentation, followed with five audio entries that are worth a second listen if you've heard them before. WARNING: The audio files are probably Not Safe For Work - the good ones rarely are. Happy 2008.

 
12.28.07 | Discover Discovery | 2.90MB PPS  
12.28.07 | Becky Calls in Demo Team | 2.90MB MP3  
12.28.07 | Conjugal Visits? | 388KB MP3  
12.28.07 | 3 Men on a Bench? | 165KB WMA  
12.28.07 | Where's My Car Payment? | 1.86MB WMA
 
12.28.07 | Tow Yard Complaint | 412KB MP3  
 
PS: The top five videos hit on this site in 2007 (in case you're interested):
Sharking | Plasma | Stunt Flying | "Bride to Be" | Dillon Aero
 

 

Merry Christmas & Happy New Year.
You might've seen some of these before but they're all to help you get in the spirit of the holidays. It's just not Christmas without the Jackass Christmas Special from previous years - so to get you in the mood, I suggest you revisit that to kick it all off. Many thanks to all of you who sent in videos throughout the year - your assistance in keeping this page alive is greatly appreciated!

 
12.21.07 | Full Metal Jacket Meets Rudolph | 3.30MB WMV (F-WORD)  
12.21.07 | Santa's Dope Shizzy on Cribs | 5.20MB WMV  
12.21.07 | Christmas Wonderland | 3.70MB WMV (F-WORD)  
12.21.07 | When Men Give the Wrong Gift | 1.20MB WMV  
12.21.07 | Christmas Lights Extravaganza | 6.70MB WMV  
12.21.07 | Making Use of the Snow Shovel | 900K WMV  

 

How do you wreck a Bugatti Veyron?
Is there anything better than watching the misfortunes of others? I don't think so either.

 
12.14.07 | Hey - (that was a) Nice Ride | 7.70MB WMV  
12.14.07 | Confessions of a Street Fighter | 8.00MB AVI  
12.14.07 | Pole Dancing! | 2.80MB WMV  
12.14.07 | Random Rambling Tire vs. Very Unlucky Man | 1.70MB WMV  
12.14.07 | Go Robo Beer Pourer | 3.80MB WMV  
12.14.07 | Super Bike - Super Burn-Burn-Burnout! | 11.50MB WMV  

 

You never ask a navy man if he'll have another drink,
because it's nobody's goddamned business how much he's had already.
Good advice.

 
12.07.07 | She's a Little Queasy | 1.80MB WMV  
12.07.07 | It's a Fight For Kisses | 7.50MB WMV  
12.07.07 | REAL Fantasy Football | 2.30MB WMV (lingerie bowl)  
12.07.07 | Poor Man's All Wheel Drive | 5.80MB WMV  
12.07.07 | Mommy is Santa | 1.90MB WMV  
12.07.07 | Iraqi PT (Where is R Lee Ermey When You Need Him?) | 2.60MB WMV  

 

Dicks @ 219 m.p.h.
Three questions regarding the dicks in the Lamborghini blowing down the Loop 202 here in Phoenix. First, whose quarter-million-dollar-plus car is this? Surely it doesn't belong to any of the ball-lappers in the video. Second, how hard is it for DPS to find a gold Murcielago (or any Murcielago for that matter) registered in Phoenix? Third, what do you suppose the charges will be once DPS does find them?

 
11.30.07 | Murcielago Dicks | 8.50MB WMV  
11.30.07 | Ambulance Dicks | 4.60MB WMV  
11.30.07 | Bullet Time | 4.20MB WMV  
11.30.07 | Friends / Dicks | 2.60MB WMV  
11.30.07 | Why You Don't Want Kids | 6.30MB WMV  
11.30.07 | Fake Jump, Dicks | 1.00MB WMV  
11.30.07 | More Fake | 900K WMV  
11.30.07 | Is He Dreaming About Pedaling A Bike Or Should We Call 911? | 2.00MB WMV  

 

Thankful for Fridays.
Thanksgiving - that holiday when everyone wears brown and eats a bunch of brown food. I'll likely skip next Friday and catch up with you in two weeks.

 
11.16.07 | Help Save the Planet from Deforestation | 1.10MB PPS (nudity)  
11.16.07 | Whitest Kids U Know | 3.80MB WMV  
11.16.07 | Can You Handle the Thanksgiving Bird? | 1.60MB WMV  
11.16.07 | Thank God For The Country Boy | 3.80MB WMV  
11.16.07 | Hot New Popular Chick | 1.80MB WMV  
11.16.07 | Another New Hillary Drug | 2.90MB WMV  

 

Honor A Veteran November 11.
Interesting - this first clip is almost exactly the same story I just coordinated for my community paper here in Arizona. Kids, school, the school adopting a military unit, Daddy coming home from Iraq to a grateful crowd at the school. Tears, joy, happiness, pride, etc. Hoo-wrauuughh.

 
11.09.07 | Coming Home | 4.80MB WMV  
11.09.07 | Ben Stein's Real Stars | 4.80MB WMV  
11.09.07 | God Bless This Veteran and Patriot | 4.80MB WMV  
11.09.07 | Cure Cancer AND Solve the Global Energy Problem | 6.80MB WMV  
11.09.07 | Darko - You Still Suck, Babe | 2.90MB WMV  
11.09.07 | A Dutchboy's Soccer Prank | 4.80MB WMV  
11.09.07 | Trinity Laterals to Victory! | 5.90MB WMV  
11.09.07 | Hauling Balls in a Borrowed Boat | 1.90MB WMV  

 

You A Killer Anyway, Bunny.
Cleaning out the inbox on a couple of these.

 
11.02.07 | Say Goodnight Already! | 1.90MB WMV  
11.02.07 | Need Glasses? | 1.90MB WMV  
11.02.07 | Yep - You Need Glasses | 961K WMV  
11.02.07 | Dirty Turtle Sex | 969K WMV  
11.02.07 | Female GPS | 1.90MB WMV  
11.02.07 | Racist GPS | 2.90MB WMV  
11.02.07 | Leno's Talking Picture Booth | 4.60MB WMV  
11.02.07 | We Don't Matter and Here's Why | 2.90MB WMV  

 

Trick or Treat.
Regarding the IED video - info I found on Live Link and elsewhere seems to indicate this attack impacted Iraqi Army Humvees a few months ago. Cocksucking Terrorists.

 
10.26.07 | VBIED | 5.80MB WMV  
10.26.07 | Trabant Run | 2.80MB WMV  
10.26.07 | The Hammer Juggler | 2.80MB WMV  
10.26.07 | Huge Halloween Costume Sale! | 2.0MB WMV (F-WORD)  
10.26.07 | Robot Chicken: Halloween Pumpkins | 3.80MB WMV  
10.26.07 | Robot Chicken: Worst Halloween EV-ER | 10.0MB WMV  

 

Where'd You Come From, A Scotch Ad?
A couple of these I've received from quite a few sources lately - so figured it's a "high demand" item... speaking of high demand, take a look at 32 Hours and tell me you're ready to navigate. Running about a buck fifty, 'nocs hunting the horizon, scanners full of chatter. Makes a man want to get out and drive like a supercharged felon all over this great land.

 
10.19.07 | 32 Hours | 9.47MB WMV  
10.19.07 | Not What You Think It Is | 4.77MB WMV  
10.19.07 | OJ's Eleven | 3.12MB WMV  
10.19.07 | Jackass Bulls | 3.80MB WMV  
10.19.07 | Mexican Shooting Range | 828KB WMV  
10.19.07 | Super Slinky Man | 2.86MB WMV  

 

Unzip Him Mister B!
Been playing a lot of Bioshock lately. It's one of the best FPS I've seen in a looooong time. I suppose it's worth all those sleepy days at the office from being up until 2:30 cruising around firing electric buckshot into Big Daddies. Our first flick is long and large ("That's what she said" - Michael Scott), and shows off some of the goods. The last flick, Vista Sucks, is a well-put-together piece. If you have time for only ONE treat today - that's the baby to unwrap.

 
10.12.07 | Hunting Big Daddy! | 39.95MB WMV  
10.12.07 | Tryphorgetin! | 3.26MB WMV  
10.12.07 | 72 Virgins! | 1.88MB WMV  
10.12.07 | Spray & Pray w/ 30mm! | 1.91MB WMV  
10.12.07 | Football Fan! | 1.68MB WMV  
10.12.07 | VISTA SUCKS! | 9.28MB WMV  

 

The Things People Can / Cannot Do
The Killacycle guy is fine - he's just really sleepy right now.

 
10.05.07 | The Mighty Beer Diet | 4.32MB WMV  
10.05.07 | Man of 100 Voices | 7.93MB WMV  
10.05.07 | You Doin' Some Stunt Flyin'? | 2.89MB WMV  
10.05.07 | Waterballoon Pop @ 1000fps | 2.83MB WMV  
10.05.07 | Killacycle! | 2.90MB WMV  

 

Quick Dump!
You've probably seen a couple of these before, as I've received them from a few different sources lately. I apologize for the re-runs, but at least there's more entries this Friday to make up for it.

 
09.28.07 | Mexican 300 | 2.51MB WMV  
09.28.07 | Caught Stealing | 2.89MB WMV  
09.28.07 | Leno Interviews | 4.78MB WMV  
09.28.07 | Juggle Genius | 4.79MB WMV  
09.28.07 | Cubic Geek | 2.86MB WMV  
09.28.07 | Geometry Failure | 992KB WMV  
09.28.07 | Beer Goggles | 1.89MB WMV  
09.28.07 | Fiat Commercial | 1.85MB WMV  

 

Random Acts of Inflicting Pain.
Go Pirates! Beat the Cubbies this weekend, bitches! Knock their dicks in the dirt.

 
09.21.07 | When IEDs Are Buried Too Deep | 1.92MB WMV (HOLY SHIT! WORDS.)  
09.21.07 | Landing With Locked Gear | 2.86MB WMV  
09.21.07 | Head Butt & Haul Ass | 2.87MB WMV  
09.21.07 | Ah, Crazy Animals | 3.83MB WMV  
09.21.07 | Crabbing | 1.95MB WMV  
09.21.07 | I Suck At Fantasy Football | 4.05MB AVI  

 

We Are Skipping Tradition.
Yes - thank you for the reminders everyone that the football season has started and I left out the usual Friday flicks indicating this. If you still want to see said flicks, scroll down to last year's 09/08/06 entry - it's still there. In fact, the one from 09/09/05 is still down there too - making me think that as this Friday Page gets longer and longer, the whole concept of META tagging everything and organizing it into searchable categories is beyond my grasp.

 
09.14.07 | Allah Arkbarv! Or Whatever You Were Trying to Say | 2.80MB WMV  
09.14.07 | Daniel-son With Mighty Leg Kick | 1.09MB WMV (F-WORD)  
09.14.07 | Football Juke | 1.91MB WMV  
09.14.07 | Life in a Tokyo Wave Pool | 6.44MB WMV  
09.14.07 | Wedding Dress Fitting Conversation | 2.86MB WMV  
09.14.07 | Pranking a Man's Breakfast | 4.36MB WMV (F-WORD)  

 

Summer Fading.
Before you know it, you're going to be looking at Christmas lights videos.

 
09.07.07 | 60 Minutes: New Talent on Board | 3.74MB WMV  
09.07.07 | Chopper Flight: Also Some New Talent on Board | 4.79MB WMV  
09.07.07 | Golf Course: New Hazards to Tackle | 2.86MB WMV  
09.07.07 | High Speed Wall Test: Everything Atomized | 1.42MB WMV  
09.07.07 | Iraq IED: Stroke Me? Support Troops & Send MP3s!| 4.82MB WMV  
09.07.07 | Minor Accident? Move Vehicles to Side | 3.81MB WMV  

 

Savor It.
Come back on 8/31 and enjoy yourself.

 
08.31.07 | Forensic Follies | 1.93MB WMV  
08.31.07 | Hummer Baby | 1.91MB WMV  
08.31.07 | Scratch My Nuts | 2.02MB WMV  
08.31.07 | Insurance for Women | 1.68MB WMV  
08.31.07 | The Talented Mr Hand Shadows | 7.95MB WMV  

 

Four Months Straight.
This is a pretty good run for this page - haven't missed a Friday since March. BUT - we've got to break it sometime. I'm going to put in a few flicks for next Friday, and you can either watch it now or come back next week, but I'm not going to be around so I'll see you next time in September. These week's theme: The Mighty Prank.

 
08.24.07 | Big Titties in the Gym Prank | 3.78MB WMV (TITS)  
08.24.07 | Big Titties in the Dental Office Prank | 3.83MB WMV (TITS)  
08.24.07 | Day in the Park Pranks | 3.01MB WMV  
08.24.07 | Golf School Prank | 2.95MB WMV  
08.24.07 | Interview Prank | 1.92MB WMV  
08.24.07 | Porta Potty Prank | 3.81MB WMV  

 

Unusual.
So I'm using Bitorrent last week at my office to download some flicks. A couple GBs of stuff, no big deal. I wasn't going to go see these movies in the theatre anyway, I was thinking. How can it be illegal? I wasn't going to give you any money to START with and now I'm STILL NOT - what's NOTHIN' plus NOTHIN'?

So I get this phone call on my cell the other day and it's from my office ISP. They're saying that they would normally just shut my ass down and send me a letter, but since it happens to be my business that we're dealing with, they decided to cut me some slack and issue a warning. They even knew WHICH shitty movies I pulled. Jesus - FINE - you win. I'll send Hollywood a check they don't deserve.

 
08.17.07 | Should've Had Money on This Bikini Race | 3.86MB WMV  
08.17.07 | Incredible Magic | 3.76MB WMV  
08.17.07 | Math 911 | 1.91MB WMV  
08.17.07 | Honest Tea. Get It? | 1.91MB WMV  
08.17.07 | Switch? (Long But Somewhat Worth It) | 9.40MB WMV  
08.17.07 | Drunk A Looooong Time | 1.79MB WMV  

 
Mish Mosh.  
08.10.07 | Grab Shirt. Wreck Face. | 1.96MB WMV  
08.10.07 | Public Service Announcement | 3.57MB MPG  
08.10.07 | Drunken River Dance DDR | 1.90MB WMV  
08.10.07 | High Speed Tricycle Wrecks | 969K WMV  
08.10.07 | Speaking Out at Ken Sander | 3.16MB WMV (LANGUAGE)  

 

Gook Stuff.
Do you realize that there are children in this world who are turning 21 right now - and this means they were JUST getting ready to come out of the womb when this movie was the big buzz in 1986? This makes me feel so freaking old. This Friday's theme: video games and other youthful stuff. Two of these vids are LARGE, as I was trying to maintain some of the quality.

"Be advised, we got zips in the wire down here." || "Roger your last, Bravo Six. Can't run it any closer. We're packing snake and nape, but we're bingo on fuel." || " For the record, it's my call! Dump everything you've got left on my pos! I say again, expend all remaining in my perimeter! It's a lovely fucking war. Bravo Six out." || "Roger your last, Bravo Six. We copy. It's your call. Get 'em in their holes down there. Hang tough, Bravo Six. We are coming cocked for treetops."

 
08.03.07 | 3dfx Cards - Remember This? | 1.15MB WMV  
08.03.07 | 3dfx Cards - Some of the First Good Tech Stuff | 1.16MB WMV  
08.03.07 | DirectX10 - Smoking Geek Stuff. | 7.00MB WMV  
08.03.07 | Conan! The Video Game. | 13.40MB WMV  
08.03.07 | Burnout 5 - Paradise City - Sweeeeeeet. | 11.60MB WMV  
08.03.07 | This Must've Been Some Good Hash | 1.93MB WMV  

 

Guy Stuff.
The "Rick Monday" piece below is one I haven't seen in a while - thanks for sending it along, Senor Dewalt. I suppose you either love Tommy Lasorda or hate him - his appearance in this video is a strong motivator one way or another. For all of the global Friday visitors: flag burning in this country has long been a point of contention. Protestors feel that if we truly are the home of the free then we should be allowed to burn the very symbol that cloaks this country in everlasting freedom and inalienable rights. While this may be a fine concept in THEORY (though it is just a shock-value stunt), there will always be men like Monday / Lasorda who will advise you find some other way to protest, and I like to think that the majority of Americans take that stance, even with global affairs like they are today. Realistically, the video would have been better if all of the Dodgers starting face-stomping these fags, but...

 
07.27.07 | Rick Monday's Save | 9.25MB WMV  
07.27.07 | You Need a Beer Bunker | 1.00MB WMV  
07.27.07 | Peer Pressure Chants (absent: Tit-ee Bar! Tit-ee Bar!) | 3.74MB WMV  
07.27.07 | Man Cards | 1.91MB WMV  
07.27.07 | Test of a Man | 5.80MB WMV  
07.27.07 | In Ravenstokes, Alaska | 6.43MB WMV  

 

"'Party's Over,' said the little girl."
Wife and kid return tonight from being gone for about a month. As nice as it's been flying solo for a little while, I really miss the missus and my son. In fact, at the store this evening a little boy about my kid's age went into a Stage Seven Core Meltdown in the bakery because his mother bought him a chocolate chip cookie. Turns out, he wanted the *M&M* cookie, NOT the chocolate chip one, so he just snapped. As the kid howled mightily at the worst atrocity to occur his short-ass life, I found myself longing for some father / son time with my little guy. Probably because I knew how I would've handled that shit - snatch the cookie out of the kid's hand, wing it to the other end of the store in an exaggerated heave (complete with emphatic grunting sound) and haul his ass out of there while delivering an in-depth explanation about entitlement. Yep. Can't wait to see 'em.

 
07.20.07 | Official Government Rating System | 4.84MB WMV  
07.20.07 | When You're Not in on the Joke | 959KB WMV  
07.20.07 | Hunting Deer. With a Big Ass Bird. | 850KB WMV  
07.20.07 | Face. Plant. Right. Now. | 983KB WMV  
07.20.07 | Talent Squandered in Iraq | 3.86MB WMV  

 

Me? Gone. More Vacation.
It's summer. Travel is mandatory.

 
07.13.07 | Do You Have My Reservation? | 5.70MB WMV  
07.13.07 | .50 Cal Miracle Shot | 639K WMV  
07.13.07 | Recoil | 1.03MB WMV  
07.13.07 | 81 Chute Kite | 4.79MB WMV  
07.13.07 | Dillon Equipped SUV | 3.47MB WMV  
07.13.07 | The Very First Turn | 2.85MB WMV  
07.13.07 | Young Artist | 3.79MB WMV  

 

Berserker!
And other movie / broadcast stuff you should embed for the weekend.

 
07.06.07 | Berserker! | 3.73MB WMV  
07.06.07 | Counting Down from 100 (a damn time-consuming creation) | 20.56MB WMV  
07.06.07 | Building the US Moat (ONION!) | 3.87MB WMV  
07.06.07 | America's Immigration Problem (ONION!) | 4.78MB WMV  
07.06.07 | It Rubs the Lotion on Its Skin... | 7.43MB WMV  
07.06.07 | Sensitivity Training for Geeks | 3.82MB WMV  
07.06.07 | Coffee is for Closers, Dick (also long, but classic) | 15.04MB WMV  

 

I'm On Vacation.
But I still had some time to drop some stuff for this Friday. Some of these you might've seen before - if so, just keep moving - there's more than one movie on this page. The new Will Ferrell short is pretty funny, I guess - if you like "Pearl" in this you'll love her in The Landlord (from 2 months ago).

 
06.29.07 | Streetfighter Pride Fight | 2.71MB WMV  
06.29.07 | Good Cop, Baby Cop - Will Ferrell Short | 16.50MB WMV  
06.29.07 | Annoying Devil | 7.70MB WMV  
06.29.07 | Annoying Devil Strikes Again | 7.66MB WMV  
06.29.07 | Hanging Out at the Mall | 995K WMV  
06.29.07 | Truth on the First Date | 3.46MB WMV  

 

Where's My Space Ship?
I was talking with one of my coworkers the other day about this first movie... see, we're in the DAWN of the computer age - and computers right now are absolutely freakin' stupid. 20 years from now we'll look back on these things like we look back on assholes who used to program in BASIC 20 years ago.

10 PRINT "YOU ARE GAY"
20: GO TO 10
... sweet.

My point is this: we all work our asses off 8-16 hours a day, clicking and clacking away on bullshit that we will be able to finish in eight minutes flat 50 years from now. When you look at this first movie, understand that these machines should have been doing this OUT OF THE BOX a decade ago. We all might as well have been born in the friggin' BRONZE age.

 
06.22.07 | Seadragon Imaging Tech | 14.02MB WMV  
06.22.07 | Operation relliM | 7.87MB WMV  
06.22.07 | Kite Surfing - Friends Come & Go | 1.66MB WMV  
06.22.07 | I Know Funny - and THAT'S Funny | 927K WMV  
06.22.07 | Making Machine Gun Noise | 8.62MB WMV  
06.22.07 | You Can't Knock Me Out | 1.90MB WMV  

 

Ghost Rider - Caught?
I'm sure the globetrotting Friday Pagers can fill me in on what is being said in Swedish in the Ghost Rider movie... is he busted or what? The thing dims AWFUL quick there at the end, and you can hear that engine revving up - like Ghost Baby is about to hit the shit and get goooooone. NOBODY can catch Ghost Rider - right? Dude should just dump his bike and run for the fuckin' hills if he is being caught there - it's so goddamn ridiculous. Say it ain't so, Ghost!

UPDATE (06/22/07): From one of our Friday friends Lars (thank you!)- his interpretation of the Swedish commentary... According to the Police the insane driving is often inspired by movies like Ghost Rider. Where a motorcycle driver, among other things, drives the 42 miles distance between Stockholm and Uppsala below 15 minutes. This summer a Police unit spotted the driver from the Ghost Rider movie. The driver failed to stop at a traffic light and took off doing a wheelie towards the Nynas road in Stockholm. But this time the Police are lucky. Just a couple of minutes later the Police manage to surprise and apprehend the driver…

 
06.15.07 | Go-Go-Ghost - Riderrrrrr | 1.88MB WMV  
06.15.07 | More Photoshop Showcasing | 11.25MB WMV  
06.15.07 | Glengarry Glen Ross Redux | 5.71MB WMV  
06.15.07 | Pass Out. Mash Gas. | 3.55MB WMV  
06.15.07 | Fire In the Hole, Bitch! | 3.47MB WMV  

 

Language Barriers.
I have no idea what language is being spoken in the first flick, but let's just say it's French. It just makes the stereotype easier to maintain. Also, the "language warnings" are really just there as a courtesy - I fully expect that this will mean nothing more than you will TURN IT DOWN before you fire it up.

UPDATE: Thank you to all who wrote in to advise that the "Frenchies" are actually Canadians, speaking in their evil, Quebecian tongue.

 
06.08.07 | The Frenchies Get an Eryx Missile | 2.28MB WMV  
06.08.07 | Can I Get Off This Bike Before You Try to Outrun the Cops? | 1.86MB WMV  
06.08.07 | Maybe That 4 Second Delay Isn't Such a Bad Idea | 4.20MB WMV (LANGUAGE)  
06.08.07 | They Can Stop Making These Commercials Now - They'll Never Top This | 2.73MB WMV  
06.08.07 | Running, Drinking, Football, Whatever Cloaks Your Escape | 3.65MB WMV  
06.08.07 | Stop Slamming The Door, Please. Or Else. | 3.19MB WMV (LANGUAGE)  

 

Activities!
What you doin' this weekend? Anything this fun?:

 
06.01.07 | Climbing Hills | 976K WMV  
06.01.07 | Barefoot Water Skiing | 1.01MB WMV  
06.01.07 | Reverse Bungie | 4.70MB WMV  
06.01.07 | Implicating Others | 1.59MB WMV  
06.01.07 | Speeding Around Town | 3.66MB WMV  

 

Mental Condition: Extremely Volatile.
Okay - the first clip here is almost nine minutes long. I know it's a helluva long time to listen to pretty much ANYthing, so I tried to dress it up a little with some imaging. Time will fly right by as you listen to the systematic break down of mental healthcare in the United States.

The last clip this week is dedicated to all the furry creatures who have recently perished in the forest fires throughout America. Lots of good eatin' just gone up in smoke. Happy Memorial Day, Amigos.

 
05.25.07 | Insanity vs. Telemarketing | 3.47MB WMV  
05.25.07 | Smart Reasoning vs. Telemarketing | 1.13MB WMV (LANGUAGE)  
05.25.07 | Seat Belts are for Pussies | 944K WMV  
05.25.07 | Mission: Impossible Backflip | 5.63MB WMV  
05.25.07 | Breakdance / Kung Fu | 1.20MB WMV  
05.25.07 | This is Your Planet | 1.34MB PPS  
05.25.07 | Fight Fire with Fire | 1.91MB WMV  

 

If You Let Me Go, I'll Bring Back the Sun.
Regarding the Rude Wake-ups: the first one is a classic from a long while back - the second one is the most recent version we received. I've been on many bachelor party trips in vans that looked just like these - but I don't remember any of us having enough energy to shout.

 
05.18.07 | The REAL Tattoo Remover | 1.94MB WMV  
05.18.07 | Rude Wakeup I | 2.82MB WMV  
05.18.07 | Rude Wakeup II | 3.49MB WMV  
05.18.07 | Go Moto! Compilation | 4.80MB WMV  
05.18.07 | Go Moto Jet Bike - Amazing | 3.77MB WMV  
05.18.07 | Ultimate Recoil | 1.03MB WMV  
05.18.07 | Ne-VER be the First to Pass Out | 1.68MB WMV  

 

Before Drifting Was Cool.
We all used to just haul ass around corners and let the back end break loose a little. Then we'd straighten it out, stab that accelerator to the floor and wait for hyperspace. That was all before the dicks in Hollywood started making entire movies about drifting. Yes - an entire 110 minutes of some inane drifting shit - with some faggot love story thrown in the mix. Just pathetic. And just what every little ricer fag wants to do... so enjoy the first flick this week, men of yesteryear - just soak it up.

 
05.11.07 | Drift! | 979KB WMV  
05.11.07 | Drifting at the Next Level | 3.35MB WMV  
05.11.07 | Your Friends Did You - and your Suzuki - a Favor | 4.75MB WMV  
05.11.07 | Removing Above-Ass Tats | 3.75MB WMV  
05.11.07 | Everything You See is Fake | 4.68MB WMV  
05.11.07 | Motoguzzi Crash Compilation | 6.73MB WMV  
05.11.07 | The Walkens (is that Nathan Lane?) | 3.35MB WMV  

 

Tips for Hosting Your Own 'Burning Man'
You need, of course, only a solitary tip: heaps o' fucking gas.

The "District 13" clip has one of the guys who is a favorite of the Friday Page - David Belle. I was pretty excited when I saw this clip - I figured this was the 'intro' to the flick, and the remaining 105 minutes were going to be nothing BUT scenes just like this one - just a non-stop action soiree.

 
05.04.07 | Burning Man | 3.76MB WMV  
05.04.07 | When Dillon Miniguns Attack | 2.74MB WMV  
05.04.07 | New Heights with the Trampoline | 938K WMV  
05.04.07 | She's a Little Drunk - this must be from a movie or something - it looks staged | 1.87MB WMV  
05.04.07 | District 13 - the best thing to come out of France since Napolean was exiled | 6.17MB MPEG  
05.04.07 | Tips on Doing Your Own Parkour Vaults | 7.10MB WMV  

 

When Krokus Opened Up for Neil Young.
I think I've finally figured out how to yank video from YouTube.... which is good. Some people send me links to videos on YouTube, which I usually ignore. In fact, I usually disregard YouTube as a general rule, because it can drive a person bat-shit-crazy trying to find a decent ass-kicking video that doesn't have some retarded teenager lip-syncing the latest Gnarles Barkley hit. That's the beauty of the Friday Page - I act as your benevolent editor, sifting through the heaps of dung to get to the shiny pearls of visual and aural pleasure. Enjoy the "Camaro Song" - a YT link my buddy Riemer sent to me about a year ago. Since the video / song was made - GM is indeed making a new Camaro.

 
04.27.07 | The Camaro Song | 11.1MB WMV  
04.27.07 | It's Hard Work, Baby | 3.29MB MPG  
04.27.07 | Spring Break! Yep - You're Gay | 1.50MB WMV  
04.27.07 | Top Gun? Gay. | 4.74MB WMV (LANGUAGE)  
04.27.07 | Psycho Optometrist | 8.95MB WMV  
04.27.07 | An Endo Gone Wrong | 992KB WMV  
04.27.07 | Your Wakeup Call, Sir. (AUDIO) | 1.42MB MP3 (LANGUAGE)  
04.27.07 | Where is My Dozer? (POWERPOINT) | 694K PPS  
04.27.07 | Will Ferrell's Landlord | 9.30MB WMV  

 

We Need More Fridays.
I've received some pretty awesome Powerpoint files over the years. I don't put them up because I have no idea how many people have Powerpoint... but since Microsoft's reach seems to be pretty freakin' deep in the jar, I'm guessing more have it than not... plus, you can get the free reader here if need be. For those of you on terminals who can't download anything - well, that sucks, eh? Maybe you should find a new line of employment. Some positions in sharking may have just opened up.

 
04.20.07 | Simple Speed Wobble Endo | 639KB WMV  
04.20.07 | Balls Out! | 3.83MB WMV (NUDITY?)  
04.20.07 | Silver Dollar Poker | 1.68MB WMV  
04.20.07 | Phone Tap Secrets (audio) | 3.24MB MP3 (LANGUAGE)  
04.20.07 | More Audio Phone Hijinks | 2.14MB WMV  
04.20.07 | Peyton Manning Gives Back a Little (SNL) | 3.84MB WMV  
04.20.07 | A Quick Trip That Goes Very Far (powerpoint) | 1.13MB PPS  
04.20.07 | Latest European Sensation: SHARKING! | 3.29MB WMV (NUDITY!)  

 

Techies and Dweebs and GSXRs.
Friday Page Guy would like to thank all of you for the kind words and stellar accolations you've bestowed on him in response to the previous response about my non-responsive state. Kick ass.

 
04.13.07 | The First Help Desk | 3.81MB WMV  
04.13.07 | Modern Help Desk | 1.12MB WMV  
04.13.07 | Engineers Just Have the Knack | 2.28MB MPG  
04.13.07 | How Very Underground, Man | 3.79MB WMV  
04.13.07 | Why Kids Need Cell Phones | 1.83MB WMV  
04.13.07 | Mind If I Test Ride Your New Gixxer? | 4.82MB WMV  
04.13.07 | Testing the F1 Engine (think it's loud?) | 3.84MB WMV  

 

Hey Asshole!
"W
hat the hell man? You die? You're killing me here! You okay? What the fuck is going on here - if you don't post something soon I'm NEVER coming back! Just end this thing - take the goddamn site down if you're not going to put anything up." - just some of the e-mail I've received lately.

It would seem some of the Friday Page visitors are downright ornery when it comes to missing doses of Friday cheer. I'll save you all the trite explanations for my tardiness. Alright, let's get into it...

 
04.06.07 | Snowboarding Across Icy Roads | 3.02MB MPG  
04.06.07 | What Men Really Think | 4.08MB WMV  
04.06.07 | Interview Ends Awkwardly | 1.89MB WMV  
04.06.07 | Firehose Rodeo | 3.80MB WMV  
04.06.07 | Sweet Church Moments (it's Easter!) | 2.66MB WMV  
04.06.07 | Elmo Impersonation (my kid loves Elmo and it makes me want to kill) | 6.68MB WMV  
04.06.07 | What You Do With Monsters | 1.65MB WMV  
04.06.07 | Motorcycle Riders Get All the MILFS | 1.62MB WMV  
04.06.07 | Leno: Working with the Public | 5.53MB WMV  
04.06.07 | The Office: Exercise Ball Seat | 4.70MB WMV  
04.06.07 | Similar Product Exhibited | 874KB WMV  
04.06.07 | Phone Sex for the Deaf (audio) | 2.95MB WMV  
04.06.07 | Robot Chicken: Lil Hitler | 2.33MB WMV  

 

Damage Incorporated.
Jesus - a guy goes to work for a while and the next thing you know his hobby starts suffering. Thank you all for the great stuff - it certainly helps when you send me goodies. Have a great weekend - try and get outside and enjoy the fresh air. Try to stay away from the whole public intoxication thing - unlike our little friend in the second-to-last flick - and you have to watch that one to the end, by the way.

 
03.02.07 | Crash 'N' Burn Compiled | 16.16MB WMV  
03.02.07 | Outrunning the Cops (The end is great. *sigh* I miss Ghost Rider) | 12MB WMV  
03.02.07 | Huge Ski Jump (it's okay - the mountain broke his fall) | 2.84MB WMV  
03.02.07 | Going Moto Crazy | 6.43MB WMV  
03.02.07 | A Very Angry Man | 3.84MB(language)  
03.02.07 | Chain Reaction Crash Footage - Thanks! | 2.72MB WMV  
03.02.07 | What Happens When You're Drunk in Public | 5.74MB WMV  
03.02.07 | What Happens When You're Drunk in Private (Stop Motion) | 1.00MB WMV  

 
Can't Talk Now, But We'll Get Together Soon and Have Lunch!  
02.16.07 | Geography Lesson | 2.95MB WMV  
02.16.07 | Compilation: Animals or Something | 3.78MB WMV  
02.16.07 | Compilation: Animals or Something II | 4.79MB WMV  
02.16.07 | Ice Joy (Blame ALL of this on global warming)| 3.90MB WMV  
02.16.07 | Robot Chicken: Marrying Frankenstein | 3.90MB WMV  

 
Like You Have Something Else To Do.  
02.09.07 | You Could Be the Ultimate Flying Dude | 3.82MB WMV  
02.09.07 | You Could Join the Navy | 2.88MB WMV  
02.09.07 | You Could Learn to Ski Jump (YAHD-SALE w/ Boston Accent) | 1.92MB WMV  
02.09.07 | You Could Learn to Drive (old one I believe) | 997KB WMV  
02.09.07 | You Could Be Out Changing Flats | 3.63MB WMV  
02.09.07 | You Could Be Kung Fu Fighting | 1.80MB WMV  
02.09.07 | You Could Go Dance Like This (no you couldn't) | 5.74MB WMV  
02.09.07 | You SHOULD Be George Carlin's Modern Man | 7.67MB WMV  

 

Video Generation.
One of the beauties of (low-quality) video cell phones is everyone is a director, of course. With sites abound on the 'net, we will always have submissions that showcase the sheer retarded behavior from those who relish in the simple concept of being "most watched" on fucking YouTube. We can thank these people for sacrificing things like eyes, spines, autos and entire kitchens, for our enjoyment.

The last video is long, but is the best one I've seen in a long time. I love the bridesmaid who is cracking up over the whole experience - she's the real keeper! It is worth saving until you return from lunch and hunker down for the final four hours of your Friday workday.

UPDATE: Bride is an actress looking for glory on the 'net... guess she got it. There was no wedding.

 
02.02.07 | Fireworks in the Kitchen | 1.08MB WMV  
02.02.07 | Ride the Lightning | 1.87MB WMV(language)  
02.02.07 | Fire & WD-40 | 1.00MB WMV (language)  
02.02.07 | Paintball | 1.02MB WMV  
02.02.07 | Drift | 1.93MB WMV  
02.02.07 | Whiplash! | 1.98MB WMV  
02.02.07 | Here Comes the Bride | 9.59MB WMV  

 
Clever Girl.
Here are some of the better commercials I've received over the past few weeks, along with one other flick - I am putting the "Spiders on Drugs Ironic Nature Show" up only because it's been sent to me about 100 times... thank you kindly to everyone for thinking of the Friday Page and sending it along, although I have to tell you that *I* didn't find it that funny, which is why it didn't go up a month ago. Nevertheless, here 'tis, if you haven't seen it.
 
01.26.07 | High End Plasma Screen | 4.32MB WMV  
01.26.07 | Cell Phone | 2.75MB WMV  
01.26.07 | Tough Man | 1.90MB WMV  
01.26.07 | Stay Fit | 2.35MB WMV  
01.26.07 | Free To Go | 3.42MB WMV  
01.26.07 | Monday Morning | 1.47MB WMV  
01.26.07 | Ameriquest: I'm Her Daddy | 2.41MB MPEG  
01.26.07 | Ameriquest: Robbed | 2.36MB MPEG  
01.26.07 | Ameriquest: Turbulence | 1.48MB WMV  
01.26.07 | Ameriquest: Doctors | 1.59MB WMV  
01.26.07 | Don't Forget | 1.32MB WMV  
01.26.07 | Torpedo? | 1.94MB WMV  
01.26.07 | Beauty & Brains | 1.50MB WMV  
01.26.07 | Coke for the First Time | 3.44MB WMV  
01.26.07 | Spiders on Drugs | 3.73MB WMV (slight language)  

 

Drunken Savages.
The Keyword for the weekend: MODERATION. Try not to end up like these assholes.

 
01.19.07 | Great Paint Commercial | 1.91MB WMV  
01.19.07 | Man Show Fake ID | 2.92MB WMV  
01.19.07 | Crashing a Jet Ski... Into a House? | 776K WMV  
01.19.07 | Human Slingshot IDEA | 1.46MB WMV  
01.19.07 | Human Slingshot REALITY | 1.06MB WMV  
01.19.07 | Winter Yard Sales | 2.87MB WMV  

 

Freaks and Geeks.
Sometimes I really would rather just sit around the house for a week or two and crank out stuff to put up on the Friday Page - I really would. I've got nearly a terabyte of shit I've collected over the years that I have all these wonderful ideas for - mainly compilations that I can put together to showcase and expand on my editing skills. Perhaps someday this will come true and you will be sincerely rewarded for your loyalty to the Friday Page. Until then, you'll have to settle for this...

 
01.12.07 | Shelby GT Goes Vroooooom! | 2.03MB WMV  
01.12.07 | This Will Never - NEVER - Work, Chief | 3.85MB WMV  
01.12.07 | Lighthouse Rules | 2.45MB MPG  
01.12.07 | Amazing Voices of Michael Winslow | 9.55MB WMV  
01.12.07 | Amazing Cup Stacking Skills | 962K WMV  
01.12.07 | Cool High School Football Play From 2006 | 1.01MB WMV  
01.12.07 | Been Married Too Long | 998K WMV  
01.12.07 | Honest Wedding Vows | 4.69MB WMV  

 

Happy New Year!
I was unavoidably detained for the past few weeks - hope you all had a great ending to 2006 and are off to a good start with 2007. Right around Christmas, there was a Robot Chicken Marathon on the Cartoon Network. If you haven't yet seen this clever show, and you like the Robot Chicken skits below, you've got to set up your DVR to start inhaling these shows. Here's a mash of stuff - to make up for the extended absence - most are pretty long, but hey - we haven't seen each other in a while!

 
01.05.07 | Lynx Dream Date (nice ending) |  
01.05.07 | Not Exactly a Dream Date | 1.04MB WMV  
01.05.07 | Cops in Vegas | 5.75MB WMV  
01.05.07 | Cops w/ a Euro Drunk | 2.92MB WMV  
01.05.07 | Cops Shooting it out w/ Teens | 5.73MB WMV  
01.05.07 | Cops Brought to you By Jay Leno | 3.82MB WMV  
01.05.07 | Robot Chicken: The Emperor Takes a Call | 8.51MB WMV  
01.05.07 | Robot Chicken: Having Babies | 1.05MB WMV  
01.05.07 | Robot Chicken: Honey Muffin Horse | 5.73MB WMV  
01.05.07 | Robot Chicken: Star Trek | 7.44MB WMV  
01.05.07 | Snowmobiling, eh? Worked. | 5.60MB WMV  
01.05.07 | Rumsfeld's a Handy Guy | 3.77MB WMV  

 

Jingle All the Way.
Remember the ultimate Christmas lights from last year? How about the Christmas Kangaroo from SNL? There ya go if you didn't see 'em last year. Here's what we have so far around here... and some other goodies that I just couldn't pass up, even though they aren't holiday themed.

 
12.08.06 | Jingle Bells Lights | 2.87MB WMV  
12.08.06 | Mistletoe | 2.84MB WMV  
12.08.06 | What Christmas Will Be Like in Ramadi | 7.54MB WMV  
12.08.06 | Government Workers | 3.77MB WMV  
12.08.06 | When Idiots Break Into Liquor Stores | 3.85MB WMV  
12.08.06 | Southpark: Sex with Teachers | 2.93MB WMV  
12.08.06 | Christmas Bird | 1.47MB WMV  

 

Autos, Cars, Accidents, Mayhem, Carnage, Etc.
Yep - it's close to the Christmas and all, but I refuse to accept that - so we'll just keep going with the flow here (I do have some good holiday stuff cued up for the next few weeks, though). Top Gear is on the Speed Channel in my hometown - worth watching - three of the clips below are from them. Once again, thank you to all of you who take time to send in Friday Goods!

 
12.01.06 | Compressing Reservoir Dogs to 272 Lines | 4.70MB WMV  
12.01.06 | Ferrari F60 (it's long - I know - but c'mon - it's FRIDAY!) | 14.21MB WMV  
12.01.06 | Lucky or Not? You Decide. | 2.87MB WMV  
12.01.06 | Mercedes: Never Trust Your Spouse | 1.90MB WMV  
12.01.06 | Mercedes: Always Trust Your Wife | 1.69MB MPG  
12.01.06 | Wipeout! | 3.51MB WMV  
12.01.06 | Icelandic Water Run (another long one - but intense) | 8.58MB WMV  
12.01.06 | Gas Pump Incident | 1.99MB WMV  
12.01.06 | Fastest Road Car Ever? | 7.61MB WMV  
12.01.06 | Funny Baby (I would've found this a bit light a couple years ago) | 2.86MB WMV  

 

Jeez - I Missed Ya.
Yeah, yeah - so it should be called the "every OTHER Friday Page" eh? Okay - I'll tell ya what - I apologize for missing you. HOW will you have a good weekend like these guys? Here comes the rest of the reporter's necessary shit - and that's why I've been out - gotta keep the local news running, baby.

 
11.17.06 | Why America Still Polices the Planet | 1.05MB WMV  
11.17.06 | When a Bird Stalls an F-16 | 2.02MB WMV  
11.17.06 | Why the F-22 Raptor is Bad (old, but good) | 4.71MB WMV  
11.17.06 | When Ass Beatin's Are Deserved (sorry for missing V-Day last week) | 3.45MB WMV  
11.17.06 | When Will You Flinch? | 1.03MB WMV  
11.17.06 | Where is this Bad Day at Work? | 1.89MB WMV  
11.17.06 | What is the Hole in the Ring? | 3.83MB WMV  
11.17.06 | Who is the Giraffe in the Quicksand? | 6.63MB WMV  

 

Catching Up.
You might've heard this first one - it's been sent to me quite a bit. Same with the Fattie clip - I'm kind of catching up a bit. The LeBrons are here because I think the commercials are clever - not everyone will agree with me, I'm sure, but in a world where most ads are "lost in the noise" this is pretty fresh.

 
11.03.06 | Alcohol (audio) | 2.70MB MP3  
11.03.06 | Tequila Testifies to the Above Clip | 1.91MB WMV (brief language)  
11.03.06 | Good Bar Mates | 1.92MB WMV  
11.03.06 | Fattie on the Fun Ride | 2.87MB WMV  
11.03.06 | The Love Boat | 2.88MB WMV  
11.03.06 | The LeBrons at the Pool | 1.95MB WMV  
11.03.06 | The LeBrons 2 on 2 | 1.00MB WMV  
11.03.06 | Men Don't Want to See Men Naked | 1.80MB WMV (just a couple nips - you can barely see 'em)  

 

Halloween. Pranks, Tricks, Etc.
Is there anything better than the prank phone call? When I was a kid, the first prank call I ever did was to the Operator (I didn't know any other numbers). When she answered, I spewed forth all of the cuss words I had learned from my friends in school. Like a fire hydrant wrenched open on a summer day in the ghetto, I let her have it all - which I thought was damn funny. Then she told me she was going to turn off our phone - and my pipsqueak mind could only envision the parental rage that would ensue if the operator was indeed capable of such power. But, I felt like she was bluffing - so I calmly said,
"You better not, you bitch." The telephone didn't work for two days. Happy Halloween.

 
10.27.06 | Eating Live Squid | 2.89MB WMV  
10.27.06 | Waterbed Prank | 4.75MB WMV  
10.27.06 | Walking Trail Prank | 3.77MB WMV  
10.27.06 | Kilted Scotsman Prank | 2.89MB WMV  
10.27.06 | The Skeleton Show | 4.82MB WMV  
10.27.06 | Tom Green's Art Prank | 8.69MB WMV  
10.27.06 | Willie Is Pissed (audio) | 3.62MB WP3  
10.27.06 | Pizza Guy (audio) | 2.23MB MP3  
10.27.06 | Your Dog Bit Me (audio) | 1.07MB MP3  
10.27.06 | Kris Angel Pulls a Woman Apart | 4.29MB WMV  

 

I'll Give Ya Asthma.
I'm in the middle of deadline/production, so nothing much from me this week.

 
10.20.06 | Bike Jump (Staged? - I Think So.) | 1.88MB WMV  
10.20.06 | Drug Bust Live! | 6.34MB MPG  
10.20.06 | The Village Sniper | 4.73MB WMV  
10.20.06 | Fighting Back at the Telemarketer (audio) | 3.13MB MP3  
10.20.06 | Best 'O Butterbean | 4.80MB WMV  
10.20.06 | A Picture a Day Spoof | 3.88MB WMV  
10.20.06 | You're a Stupid, Stupid Man | 990K WMV  
10.20.06 | Hot or Not? Model Evolution | 1.79MB WMV  

 

Have a Killer Weekend.
Here we go again - stunt jumps and other life-and-limb stuff. "Would this be the last stunt he would ever perform?" Well, I would say anyone who thinks they can jump a friggin' MILE in a Lincoln deserves snapped femurs and crushed vertebrae.
"Did I make it?" Well - what do you think, Kenny?

 
10.13.06 | The Superjump | 7.47MB WMV  
10.13.06 | By Request: David Belle Parkour Stuff | 4.70MB WMV  
10.13.06 | Another Jump Gone Wrong | 1.00MB WMV  
10.13.06 | 911 Call About a Burger | 2.29MB WMA  
10.13.06 | You Wanna Hang Out Tonight? | 1.90MB WMV  
10.13.06 | Stripped | 3.49MB WMV  

 
Quickie - I'm Outta Here (again).
A quiet weekend in the pines for me and the missus - see ya.

 
10.06.06 | Gre-NADE!! (remember Stripes?) | 2.852MB WMV  
10.06.06 | Big Jugs | 995K WMV  
10.06.06 | Singing Mime | 1.90MB WMV  
10.06.06 | Potato Gun | 1.00MB WMV  

 

Longer Movies to Celebrate the End of Summer.
Yep - here's a few that I've been holding on to for a while - just waiting for the right time to set them free. Happy first day of Autumn today - I'm sure you're elated. I won't be here next week, so savor.

 
09.22.06 | Let Freedom Ring w/ F1 Music (Listen to Entire Clip) | 3.95MB WMV  
09.22.06 | Why PCP is Bad For You | 2.86MB WMV  
09.22.06 | Top 10 Unsportsmanlike Plays | 5.78MB WMV  
09.22.06 | Partying With the Wiggers | 3.86MB WMV  
09.22.06 | The Easter Bunny Hates You | 3.82MB WMV  
09.22.06 | Bum Hand! | 1.89MB WMV  
09.22.06 | Beatbox Bush & Cheney | 1.89MB WMV  
09.22.06 | Tea Partay | 4.77MB WMV  
09.22.06 | Short & Sweet: The Roundabout | 1.08MB WMV  

 

Blended Friday.
Was there anyone better than Tyson when he was in his prime? I don't think so. If the guy could've worked out whatever was ailing his brain, he could've been unstoppable. NO ONE could handle that uppercut he had - no one. Sorry for the delay getting this up - server issues. Happy Friday.

 
09.15.06 | Tyson Knockouts | 19MB WMV  
09.15.06 | Chronic-les of Narnia (old, I know - but good) | 3.46MB WMV  
09.15.06 | Mustang GT500 | 1.96MB WMV  
09.15.06 | Faster Than a Turbo Vette | 912K WMV  
09.15.06 | Blowing Up the Speed Camera | 2.03MB WMV  
09.15.06 | Copper Clappers (back when funny was funny) | 3.79MB WMV  
09.15.06 | Pole "Dancing" | 1.87MB WMV  

 

Football Starts NOW!
We do have some traditions here at the Friday Page - and now that we're looking at a much larger audience, I doubt that all of you are familiar with these traditions (unless you've bothered to scroll all the way through this log jam of flicks and read every comment I've put up). As of right now, my limit on traditions is two a year: First Weekend of Football Season and Christmas. This being the former, you will be hit with the usual annual two movies that signify to Friday Page Viewers that The Season has started. Football Season signifies the very greatest time of year - where the American Male can sit on his couch and watch every single goddamn game (thank you DirecTV & TiVo!) in high-definition on his 42" Plasma TV, all while screaming, drinking, eating pizza and farting up a storm. I don't much care for fart jokes - but the missus sure does, and if I want to sit around all day on Sunday watching football, I better put something up here to put her in a good mood. Cheerio, bitches!

 
   
09.08.06 | NFL's Greatest Hits (the 'ol original - just watch it again) | 9.47MB WMV  
09.08.06 | Football, Jackass Style! | 1.98MB WMV  
09.08.06 | Soup's Ready Just in Time | 383K WMV  
09.08.06 | Be Quiet or Be Dead | 3.75MB WMV  
09.08.06 | That Healthy Glow | 1.55MB WMV  
09.08.06 | "I Do" | 1.90MB WMV  
09.08.06 | Head Up to the Sto[re] and Buy Me a Fo[rty] | 958K WMV  
09.08.06 | Cure for ADD Found! | 1.86MB WMV  

 

Make This Friday Last. I'm Outta Here - See You September 8th
So let's say you decide to blow through all 12 of these entries over the next 15 minutes... does that make you a better person? I don't know. Here's what I do know: my ass is outta here - I need a vacation (yeah, I know that some of you think I don't do anything BESIDES this, but I do) and I'm taking it. Thank you kindly to all of you who have sent in as much stuff as you have - you know who you are (I always hate it when others thank people that way, but I am left with little choice here). I'll see you bitches on September 8th... feel free to buy me a drink this weekend and next (I'd like a Tanqueray and Tonic, please - no lime - just hammer that baby down and I'll try and absorb what I can through thoughts). Wraaaaaauuuuugggghhhh!!!! (P.S. - in case you were wondering: the answer to last week's question is: Artist: Lacquer / Title: Behind - thank you to Glenn, Tim, Chris, Benjamin and many others for the answer - it is appreciated).

 
08.25.06 | Let's Just Start Off with Boobs (Jeezus - they're just boobs)|2.88MB WMV  
08.25.06 | Instant Kiwi Thing (do you know who I am?) |1.95MB WMV  
08.25.06 | Further Testament To Why Men Are Hated | 3.48MB WMV  
08.25.06 | The HOT Mother-in-Law | 2.22MB WMV  
08.25.06 | Dude - You Okay? (old but good) |755K WMV  
08.25.06 | Messin' w/ Sasquatch (also - old now) |2.19MB MPG  
08.25.06 | Roller Bike (want it for no other reason than to have it) | 856K WMV  
08.25.06 | When You're Having Twins |976K WMV  
08.25.06 | Mountain Biking @ 170 km/h (about 100 mph) |4.74MB WMV  
08.25.06 | Slipstreaming Through Traffic | 703K WMV  
08.25.06 | Taser Your Ass, Big Boy (I'll BITE that dog - uh-huh) |4.75MB WMV  
08.25.06 | Irish Beer Bong (this is kinda gross (SORRY - REALLY GROSS)) |3.85MB WMV  

 

Busy With Deadline / Production - So This Might Suck.
Someone wrote me and asked if I knew the music from the "Coast to Coast in Four Minutes" video a couple weeks ago - I don't - but if YOU do can you e-mail it to me? Thanks. Have a great Friday!

 
08.18.06 | Barney Rap (funny for 30 seconds) |2.01MB WMV  
08.18.06 | Tennents Commercial |2.79MB WMV  
08.18.06 | HP Customer Support (complete w/ SAW gunner!) |3.23MB WMV  
08.18.06 | Taser the Bad Ass |6.70MB WMV  
08.18.06 | Bud Light: Men Invented Everything |1.35MB WMV  
08.18.06 | Smacked Face Compilation |3.89MB WMV  

 

Mess Around. Everybody's Doin' the Mess Around.
Go home early today - you deserve it. Some of these are a little long, so here's my suggestion: watch all of today's flicks and then just walk right out without saying a word to anyone.

 
08.11.06 | Punching Bags |1.04MB WMV  
08.11.06 | Mall Rats & SuperFriends |5.72MB WMV  
08.11.06 | Walken Census (old SNL) |6.64MB WMV  
08.11.06 | Triumph Hits Hawaii |6.75MB WMV  
08.11.06 | Bike Wrecks |2.83MB WMV  
08.11.06 | Yacking Babies |1.91MB WMV  

 

Double Dose
Due to circumstances beyond my control, last Friday was missed. Soooo... here's a double.

 
08.04.06 | Man Laws 1 |6.70MB WMV  
08.04.06 | Man Laws 2 |6.70MB WMV  
08.04.06 | Man Laws 3 |6.17MB WMV  
08.04.06 | Man Laws 4 |5.65MB WMV  
08.04.06 | Man Laws 5 |3.48MB WMV  
08.04.06 | Man Laws 6 |6.17MB WMV  
08.04.06 | Air Drops |3.85MB WMV  
08.04.06 | Shag, Marry, Kill? |3.84MB WMV  
08.04.06 | "The Long Weekend" | 4.87MB WMV  
08.04.06 | Coast to Coast in Four Minutes | 9.63MB WMV  
08.04.06 | Fishing In Afghanistan | 3.66MB WMV  

 

Gone Insane from the Pain That They Surely Know.
Ha-wraugh-wraugh-wraugh - WRAAAAAUUUUGHGHGHGHGH!!!!!!!!! <unleash hell>

 
07.21.06 | Helmets Are Good |881K WMV  
07.21.06 | Sometimes It Doesn't Matter Though | 1.21MB WMV  
07.21.06 | Like If You Get Checked Through the Glass | 1.89MB WMV  
07.21.06 | But If You've Got a Helmet Cam, That's Good Stuff | 1.96MB WMV  
07.21.06 | I Will Press Charges - Okey Dokey | 1.92MB WMV  
07.21.06 | Great Knockouts (long video, but what else you got to do?) | 9.54MB WMV  

 

Man It's Hot Outside. And It's Midnight.
Sometimes this town just amazes me - 116°F today - what the hell is that? So, "Al-Qaeda" from last week turns out to be a nice guy - sorry I ripped ya, mate. It takes a lot for someone to write what you did, so there's an entry in here for you - a little more realistic view of the shit in Iraq. Cheers.

 
07.14.06 | Life Over Limb (a bit savage) | 3.81MB WMV  
07.14.06 | Microsoft Tech Support |776KB WMV  
07.14.06 | The Only Good Soccer Goal, Ever |1.22MB WMV  
07.14.06 | Floor It & You Might Clear 'Em |353KB WMV  
07.14.06 | I Can't Drive for Dick |1.00MB WMV  
07.14.06 | Me Either |525KB WMV  
07.14.06 | Yeah, Well, I'm Freakin' GONE |2.83MB WMV  
07.14.06 | Dinner With Christopher Walken | 3.77MB WMV  

 
Short Pranks and Stupid Idiots.
I've gotten a little flack recently for all of the "pro-war" videos I've put up - one person even suggested that I put up some of the terrorist videos of beheadings and IED explosions, to balance things out. Okay - yeah - thanks for checking in, Al Qaeda.
 
07.07.06 |And Then, Whitey Rolls Into Town |2.88MB WMV  
07.07.06 |Stocking Cap Cause It's Chilly Out | 2.93MB WMV  
07.07.06 |How Kids Ruin Everything |989K WMV  
07.07.06 |You Dropped Your Panties |2.85MWV MMV  
07.07.06 |Little Opportunity Ass-Kicking, Yeah |2.81MB WMV  
07.07.06 |Mighty Short Jump, Chief |442K WMV  
07.07.06 |Just Take the Stairs, Ass | 889K WMV  

 

Happy Independence Day, America.
Finally dug up that AC-130 footage from Afghanistan, as well as some other flexes of force.
Have a great long weekend - or whatever.

 
06.30.06 | AC-130 (oldie but goodie) | 9.49MB WMV  
06.30.06 | Making Zarqawi Vapor | 2.86MB WMV  
06.30.06 | Assisting Suicide Bombers | 948K WMV  
06.30.06 | New Found Friends in the Jacuzzi | 1.91MB WMV  
06.30.06 | Yep - They're Making Another Jackass |10.63MB MOV  
06.30.06 | It's a Hottie Stampede! (commercial banned in U.S.?) |2.83MB WMV  
06.30.06 | Happy Fourth |1.88MB WMV  

 

Ass Kicking!
There is a new icon at work here - if you see it means you may want to look over your shoulder and turn down the sound before firing it up. Sorry for any trouble anyone has gotten in before - I've got your messages and this seems to be a good fix. Many thanks again to everyone who has sent in clips - they are always welcome! G.

 
06.23.06 | Crazy Ramadi! | 7.12MB WMV  
06.23.06 | Air Strike! | 962K WMV  
06.23.06 | Spin Kick! | 1.93MB WMV  
06.23.06 | When Harriers Attack! (check out GrouchyMedia for others) | 6.56MB WMV
 
06.23.06 | Fluorescent Surprise | 2.85MB WMV  
06.23.06 | Not So Smart Wheelie | 5.41MB MPG  
06.23.06 | Mad Snowmobile Skillz | 906KB WMV  
06.23.06 | Test Driving his Ferrari (in a 35 mph zone) | 6.58MB MPEG  

 

Happy Father's Day Dads
Still trying to dig up "Spooky" Footage - I know I have some good ones from Afghanistan. The third one up from the bottom of today's movies is a great classic - and while it's not the AC-130, it'll do for now, I hope. Have a great weekend and don't forget Dad on Sunday. G.

 
06.16.06 | To Be a Kid Again, Watching the Neighbor With a Stiffy | 1.93MB WMV  
06.16.06 | Babies & Daddies - These Guys Are Weak | 2.77MB WMV  
06.16.06 | Some Moto Wipeouts During Intermission | 1.88MB WMV  
06.16.06 | How To Make a Green Iguana | 2.82MB WMV  
06.16.06 | "SMOKE HIM" in Iraq (full version) | 2.77MB WMV  
06.16.06 | There Goes Gravity | 2.41MB WMV  
06.16.06 | Pumpcast News | 4.80MB WMV  

 
Yeah - I Know
Missed ya last week. Will try not to let that happen again (yeah). I've had quite a few requests lately for "Chainguns" and "AC-130 Gunships" - here are some chaingun goodies and I'll see what I can dig up for Spooky Gunship footage for next week. How'd you all like that Zarqawi hit this week? I love how the Air Force commander told the pilots that there was a "high-value" target in this little safehouse... so they dropped two 500 pound bombs on the house - that's half a ton of bombs to you and me, kids!
 
06.09.06 | The Short Life of an Idiot Terrorist | 3.79MB WMV  
06.09.06 | Chaingun Collection | 6.64MB WMV  
06.09.06 | Doom Buggy | 5.76MB WMV  
06.09.06 | Need a Chiropractor? | 1.02MB WMV  
06.09.06 | Get Out (*strong language*) | 1.91MB WMV  
06.09.06 | Glock Auto | 1.93MB WMV  
06.09.06 | Glock Auto? Pfffttt... Glock DRUM! | 975K WMV  
06.09.06 | Six Beers - 10 Seconds - SEE YA! | 731KB  

 

Memorial Day Weekend, for us Americans - Free Day Off
Well, whatever you're doing this weekend in your little slice of the world, take along a video camera and send me some footage if you're partaking in any of the following adventures:

 
05.26.06 | Feeding Your Buddy Too Many Drinks (while he gets a "dance") | 2.08MB WMV  
05.26.06 | 4 Wheeling Around Idiots Who Keep Telling You What to Do | 3.76MB WMV  
05.26.06 | Hauling Balls in a Mustang GT with Carroll Shelby (or without) | 1.02MB WMV  
05.26.06 | Making Kids Cry | 1.87MB WMV  
05.26.06 | Performing Amazing Parking Maneuvers | 1.17MB MPG  
05.26.06 | Getting Really High and Watching This (thought this was cool) | 1.81MB WMV  
05.26.06 | Jumping Canals (800HP? Hmmmm...) 1.89MB WMV  

 

You'd Think This Wouldn't Take Much, Eh?
I mean, it's just a re-design of the old site at a new url, right? What's the big damn deal? Why did this take me so long to switch over? I don't friggin' know. Sorry about missing everyone last Friday - hopefully this will make up for it... oh - HIT CONTROL-D NOW TO BOOKMARK THE NEW PLACE HERE... do not return to the old spot ever again - pour out your forties, as that page will be dead soon.

 
05.19.06 | I Like the Sound in This One - Nice Jump | 920K WMV  
05.19.06 | Looks Like David Belle Finally Found a Use for His Talents | 1.97MB WMV  
05.19.06 | Machine Gun Granny | 1.88MB WMV  
05.19.06 | Eye Fi | 2.77MB WMV  
05.19.06 | Flying Skier | 979K WMV  
05.19.06 | Smoking Kills | 1.92MB WMV  
05.19.06 | Fight Club | 2.99MB WMV  

   
Okay - REALLY - One of These Weeks We'll Move, Jesus.
Regarding the last movie ** WARNING ** graphic material. However, it's my opinion that this is worth watching - to remember that Iraq is still a place of concern. Speaking of concern, I'm off to Mexico for a few days to celebrate Cinco de Mayo. Adios, Amigos.
 
05.05.06 | Wetback Mountain (in celebration of Cinco de Mayo) | 5.42MB WMV  
05.05.06 | Chuck Norris Doesn't Cry | 5.70MB WMV  
05.05.06 | Assisting the Suicide Bombers in Iraq | 4.79MB WMV  

 
Okay - NEXT Week We're Movin'
It's late, I'm tired, and the new site isn't finished. Have a great weekend.
 
04.28.06 | Kind of a Winchester Commercial, But Interesting |2.88MB WMV  
04.28.06 | A Fine Redneck Burnout |989K WMV  
04.28.06 | An Old One, I Guess, But the Norwegians Made Me Smile |4.80MB WMV  
04.28.06 | Squish Your Head |2.76MB WMV  
04.28.06 | Friday Classic: The Penguin Joke |981K WMV  

 
Yup.
This should be the last week on this page. Next week we'll switch over to the new site. In the meantime, as the e-mail from our Aussie mate, Steve Thomas, said about this first movie, "Imagine being overtaken while doing 290+" - no kidding. I guess that's when you decide to trade up.
 
  04.21.06 | Throttle Down There, Little Cheeba, 'cuz I'm Gooooonnne | 2MB WMV  
  04.21.06 | The Toot Tone (for the Missus & her family) | 2.87MB WMV  
  04.21.06 | Spitfire's Low Pass |1.79MB WMV  
  04.21.06 | What's Funnier - the Nailgun or the Firehose? | 2.81MB WMV  
  04.21.06 | Pull Over or *I'll* Pull You Over | 1.91MB WMV  
 
 
  Quickie - I'm on Deadline (again).  
  04.14.06 | Topless Car Wash |2.89MB WMV  
  04.14.06 | It's the "I Got It" Sport (people watch & cheer for this?) |2.87MB WMV  
  04.14.06 | Bad Landing with the Goose |914K WMV  
  04.14.06 | Nothing Like Dildo Radio Pranks | 1.03MB WMV  
  04.14.06 | It's Tax Time in America - Due Monday In Case You Forgot |1.83MB WMV  
 
 
 

Ghost Rider's Outta Here (Last Ride)
So, did the Ghost Rider get married and have kids or something? What gives? Why the "last ride"? I imagine he told the missus he'd wrap it up for her... I can hear him in his broken English:

GHOST: Zees is last ride.
WIFE: When you comin' home ghost? Kid needs a bath, tough guy.
GHOST: Don't ask stupid question. I go 600 mph on Hayabusa Turbo - nearly go back in time, to before we met, so I don't have to meet you again.
WIFE: Yeah, listen, fuckin' rent's due, so why don't you haul your ass into a J.O.B.?
GHOST: You ask stupid again. I. Am. Gone. Ghost Rider is Gone. There is no Ghost.
WIFE: Kid gets washed in 30 minutes - you better be here.
This certainly explains Ghost's determination. And 200 mph+ wheelies.

 
  04.07.06 |Ghost Rider's Final Ride? | 7.62MB WMV  
  04.07.06 |The Biathlon is Best | 989K WMV  
  04.07.06 |Wear The Fox Hat | 796K WMV  
  04.07.06 |She's Got That Look | 1.81MB WMV  
  04.07.06 |Oh The Horror! | 2.49MB WMV  
 
 
  Nothing From Me - See Ya Next Friday  
  03.31.06 | The Simpsons in Real Life? | 1.89MB WMV  
  03.31.06 | Mind If I Test Drive Your New Ducati? |2.93MB WMV  
  03.31.06 | A Holiday of Idiot Drivers (love the bus) |2.74MB WMV  
  03.31.06 | Tom Green - "We're From Undercutters" | 3.82MB WMV  
  03.31.06 | Grip It & Rip It, Ya Jag | 941K WMV  
  03.31.06 | I'm Sure You'll Get Drunk & Act Like a Bunch of Animals |2.85MB WMV  
 
 
  The Full Spectrum 
We try to provide a wide variety of entertainment here at the Friday Page. Here's hoping this week's entries keep a smile on your face until quittin' time. Flava Flav in the last video should be able to tell you what time it is.
 
  03.24.06 | They Really Are Good Boys - Just Stupid | 1.91MB WMV  
  03.24.06 | Shooting Reeeaaaaalllllyyyyy Fast | 1.81MB WMV  
  03.24.06 | Game Rage - Sadly, I Have Done This | 950K WMV  
  03.24.06 | When the Game Comes To Life (Wow - Freaked Me a Bit) | 3.78MB WMV  
  03.24.06 | When Confronted: Spit In Your Opponents Face and Haul Ass | 3.78MB WMV  
 
 
  More of the Same - I'm on Deadline
I work all day on this paper that serves this little tiny segment of the world - and then I come home and find messages of people who are laughing at the Friday Page all over the planet. Seems the page made its way through Australia, and thanks to Gary Saxon (in Oz), I have enough Australian humor to do an entire Friday - which I will, eventually. Thanks to the recent offerings again from all over the world - including our newfound friends in Portugal. You made the list, buddy.
 
  03.17.06 | Why Al Qaeda Wants YOU Dead |2.51MB WMV  
  03.17.06 | Why You Always Pack Your Own Chute <shit> | 3.66MB WMV  
  03.17.06 | Why, This Crash Is Just In - via Portugal |968K WMV  
  03.17.06 | Why Bill Dance Is Funny (I have no idea who this is) | 2.78MB WMV  
  03.17.06 | Why Women Hate Sports (Mostly) | 1.65MB WMV  
  03.17.06 | Why You Wear the Helmet, Ass | 914K WMV  
  03.17.06 | Why I Ain't Fightin' NObody After That Sheeeiiit <gone>| 1.03MB WMV  
 
 
  Not Safe For Work. Not Safe For Screaming Children.
Sorry - this is a no-safe zone this Friday. Mash children in face with the palm of your hand - redirecting them to the Great Outdoors to enjoy the scents of nature: trees, grass, etc. Slurp beers. Enjoy. Thanks again to the senders.
 
  03.10.06 | See What I Mean? | 947K WMV  
  03.10.06 | Scarface (The Quick Edition) | 3.80MB WMV  
  03.10.06 | The Ketchup Effect | 1.72MB WMV  
  03.10.06 | Social Security Check (AUDIO / Roy Wood Jr.) | 4.41MB MP3  
  03.10.06 | Kasey Kasem (AUDIO: Hi, I'm Pissed Off Kasey Kasem) | 1.03MB MP#  
 
 
  Time Keeps Ticking 
Sorry about last week - dealing with computer failure. So, let's get into it... ignore the alcohol rumblings with the last several movies - it means nothing. Thanks to the senders!
 
  03.03.06 | Redneck Water Skiing |1.82MB WMV  
  03.03.06 | MAD TV's Vegas Buffet | 2.85WMB WMV  
  03.03.06 | Where's My Beer, Bitch? | 1.86MB WMV  
  03.03.06 | Man's Favorite Tool | 954K WMV  
  03.03.06 | Chew Arms Off? | 1.81MB WMV  
  03.03.06 | Yes, Chew Arms Off or Die Trying | 1.68MB WMV  
  03.03.06 | Saying F.O. to Jennifer A. | 1.70MB WMV  
  03.03.06 | New Zealand's Beer Since Ages Ago (thanks, Roy) | 2.90WMB WMV  
  03.03.06 | Guns In The Sky! <barf> Cheers! <drink> (oldie but goodie) | 956K WMV  
 
 
  Boys Will Be Boys
The next time I have to fire someone, I'm pulling the maneuver from this first video - [pick]-[reach-to-shoulder]-[drop-booger]-[flick-it-away-as-a-favor], then, "You're fired."
Regarding the last one: uh, it could be disturbing to some viewers. But it's a good lesson in safety, kids! Always wear your seatbelt when you steal another person's vehicle.
I haven't said it lately, but a resounding THANK YOU to my many friends out there who send in the goods - I always appreciate you taking the time to send in stuff! My e-mail.
 
  02.17.06 | The Picker | 336K WMV  
  02.17.06 | The Driver | 391K WMV  
  02.17.06 | The Sandpaper | 2.87MB WMV  
  02.17.06 | The Piss Diver | 1MB WMV  
  02.17.06 | The Shed | 2.84MB WMV  
  02.17.06 | The Thief Who Couldn't Fly | 1.96MB WMV  
 
 
 

Super Freaky
Okay, we'll start off with the freak of the week. My sis-in-law, we'll call her "E", is directly involved in this first movie. Might not mean much to you - but her apartment is DIRECTLY ABOVE where this incident happened. As she put it: "I sat around all day eating my Chipotle and watching movies, while a recently hacked-up, dead body was rotting directly under my living room." So, "E" does not live there anymore - she vacated that place within hours of finding out this news. If you watch the show "48 Hours" on A&E, you might catch a glimpse of her in a future episode - we'll be sure to let you know here on the Friday Page when that airs.

Then, we'll roll right into what I consider the only useful part of this year's SuperBowl - finding more commercials to add to the "extreme" commercial collection. Sadly, out of these two, the first is the only one that I will acknowledge as a decent creation. And now, after editing it, I find myself wondering if it mostly sucks (except for a decent guitar riff, a couple of sweet drifts and a weak blend of a monster truck flying into the scene - and the sumo skulking down the street is good), and if it is just gay. See the "Harley" guys riding with our hero, Bob? GAY.

Sticking with the Monster Truck theme, we'll wrap it up with "A Monster Truck for Sister Wendy" - which was on Top Gear tonight and I thought you might find it funny. It's over 4 minutes long, so if you don't think the idea of nuns driving monster trucks (it is a bit anticlimactic, I'll grant you that) is that funny, you're free to go.

 
  02.10.06 | Sis-In-Law's Big News |1.91MB WMV  
  02.10.06 | Full Throttle (Superbowl Funny #1) |4.79MB WMV  
  02.10.06 | Where's the Friggin' Beer? (Superbowl Sorta-Funny #2) |2.89MB WMV  
  02.10.06 | A Monster Truck for Sister Wendy |6.75MB WMV  
 
 
  Sorry I Missed You - Did You Miss Me?
This first flick is a personal favorite - and it's a reminder to my friend Scott and my brother Curt about the good 'ol days of driving down to Rocky Point - "a five hour drive" (our folks' perception of it). Once we made it in 3 - driving kind of like this - the WHOLE way there. Although I can guarantee you I wouldn't be the chump flooring fourth gear @ 2000 rpm, when I should be hitting the power band in third (like this guy).
 
  02.03.06 | Hummmm Ba Ba Ba Ba Baaaa - WRAAAAUGGGGHHH! | 3.84MB WMV  
  02.03.06 | Let's Take A Step Back | 1.87MB WMV  
  02.03.06 | Town Hall Meeting About Iraq | 2.39MB WMV  
  02.03.06 | Sexual Harassment, SNL Style | 3.80MB WMV  
  02.03.06 | Remote Controlled Car (a real one) Gone Wild! | 7.31MB ASF
(I could not edit this one. I assure you I would have. My apologies for the length.)
 
  02.03.06 | Pimp My Ride | 2.63MB WMV  
  02.03.06 | Sent In Many Times This Week (so gotta put it up) | 903KB WMV  
 
 
  Some Quick Laughs
The first movie was sent in a few times this week, and is just amazing. The "Fishing Story" is one my father-in-law will enjoy - that's one helluva fishing trip, eh? Well - back to work for me.
 
  01.20.06 | Crazy Climber (remember that game?) | 2.90MB WMV  
  01.20.06 | A Fishing Story | 5.69MB WMV  
  01.20.06 | 2005 Hurricane in Review | 5.46MB WMV  
  01.20.06 | Where's My Laptop? | 4.75MB WMV  
  01.20.06 | Deer Hunter | 3.73MB WMV  
 
 
  Friday the 13th
The only scary thing here is the French Foreign Legion flick. My buddy Scott N. (a former Marine), sent this to my buddy Pete, telling him to inform his wife that they would be leaving soon for the FFL and to "just let her know if she needs to contact you that it won't be possible until after the first year. Then she will be permitted to send one letter per year thereafter to the following address..."
 
  01.13.06 | BANG! | 2.80MB WMV  
  01.13.06 | Swede's M60 | 2.88MB WMV  
  01.13.06 | French Foreign Legion | 2.81MB WMV  
  01.13.06 | Perfect Woman's Car | 1.55MB WMV  
 
 
  Happy 2006 - What's Funnier Than Monkeys?
I'm reminded of a time when I lived with my brother and two other guys, Tom and Kevin. We lived on a golf course, and it was sweet - and Sundays were for watching television. We were all watching some movie one Sunday, and it starred some un-funny person and a monkey. Every time the scene changed to something that didn't have the monkey in it, we howled, "Where's the funkin' MONKEY? The monkey is funny - YOU are not." I bet that movie wouldn't be as funny to watch now, since we were high a lot back then. Also - before any of the paleontologists out there send me an e-mail telling me that the "stars" in these movies are NOT monkeys, realize that the rest of the world likes to call them monkeys. Don't click 'send'.
 
  01.06.06 | Trunk Monkey #1 | 906K WMV  
  01.06.06 | Trunk Monkey #2 | 1.0MB WMV  
  01.06.06 | Trunk Monkey #3 | 945K WMV  
  01.06.06 | Trunk Monkey #4 | 982K WMV  
  01.06.06 | Trunk Monkey #5 | 989K WMV  
  01.06.06 | Trunk Monkey #6 | 1.0MB WMV  
  01.06.06 | I Work With a Bunch of Monkeys #1 | 886K WMV  
  01.06.06 | I Work With a Bunch of Monkeys #2 | 847K WMV  
  01.06.06 | I Work With a Bunch of Monkeys #3 | 882K WMV  
  01.06.06 | I Work With a Bunch of Monkeys #4 | 873K WMV  
 
 
  UPDATE: About the "Rubber Bullets?" video - this comment from "SafeTin5":
"About your rubber bullet video on 12/30/05. They used what is commonly called a "pepperball gun." They are pretty much the same as a paintball gun with a few modifications. The rounds travel about twice the speed as a paintball gun. The rounds are also very similar to paintballs, however, they are thicker, which allows them to be shot at the higher speed. Inside the round is powdered oloeoresin capsicum (aka O.C. which is similar to mace or pepperspray.) They have been around awhile and are a less-lethal option for law enforcement. You can see a cloud of dust in the beginning of the video. That is the round exploding and explains the suspects reaction. As they start to escort him away, look at the officer farthest away from the camera. You will notice what looks like a paintball gun." - Many thanks for the info, SafeTin5!
 
  Well, Well, Here We Are (2006)
I figured one more Friday entry couldn't hurt, right? The first 12 movies have some slight sound tracking and sizing issues (they are some early work on software I didn't understand, obviously), but are still worth the click. The second to last one, the Foosball Video, is for my brother-in-law David, who received a slick foosball table from Santa this year (and whipped me and our nephew Brendan quite soundly). When you get this good at foosball, I guess you don't work anymore? The final clip is a reminder of this year's greatest tragedy, Hurricane Katrina. Remember, if you can't give, then TAKE. Happy 2006, Friday Fans.
 
  12.30.05 | Crash One | 359K WMV  
  12.30.05 | Crash Two | 966K WMV  
  12.30.05 | Crash Three | 2.80MB WMV  
  12.30.05 | Guns, Guns, Guns!!! | 2.80MB WMV  
  12.30.05 | Stupid Man with a Hot Rod and a Shovel | 2.77MB WMV  
  12.30.05 | Uh, I Give Up! (Rubber Bullets?) | 1.52MB WMV  
  12.30.05 | Long Shot at the Buzzer | 1.03MB WMV  
  12.30.05 | Just Pushing Cars | 902K WMV  
  12.30.05 | Das Polis Man | 1.90MB WMV  
  12.30.05 | This is a Stick-Up! | 1.72MB WMV  
  12.30.05 | Most Famous Movie Trailer Voice of All Time | 2.08MB WMV  
  12.30.05 | High Speed Chase! | 1.77MB WMV  
  12.30.05 | Foosball Magic | 2.73MB WMV  
  12.30.05 | Lookin' for Looters | 3.85MB WMV  
 
 
  Santa's Time of Year
This will be the last of this year's Friday entries. It's light, I know - just deal with it. Shouldn't you be at some Christmas party or something? If you're any student of the Friday page, you'll know that we do the "Jackass Party" every year this time - so here ya go. Merry Merry, Mary to all ya'll out there in the world. See ya in '06.
 
  12.23.05 | A Jackass Holiday | 2.85MB WMV  
  12.23.05 | Larry the Cable Guy's Holiday Story | 1.85MB WMV  
  12.23.05 | The Aussie Christmas Treat | 5.33MB WMV  
 
 
 

I Feel Awful
This movie sums up how I feel right now - I picked up some bug that is going around - plus I'm on hardcore deadline right now, which is nice. I'll have some goodies up NEXT THURSDAY, since Friday is Christmas Eve... Look for more then.

Also, in regards to the photos from last week - thanks to astute Friday Page reader Jeff Rogers, it appears that the video and pictures are separate events. Here is more info.

 
  12.16.05 | This is How I Feel - See Ya Next Week | 621K WMV  
 
 
  Shootouts!
Well, sorta. One is more like murder, but hey, it could just be serious protection detail.
 
  12.09.05 | No Comment From Me| 4.81MB WMV
If you want some more info on this, go here or here... that will get you started. I don't want Aegis flashbanging their way into my house with silenced MP5s mouse-farting off 5000 rounds, while I am forced to return fire with my Mossberg, only to hit body armor and then realize the full force of wire-guided missiles and suitcase nukes or something, so let's just leave this one to you - YOU go figure out what happened here. The Elvis tune is a nice touch, eh?
 
  12.09.05 | Good 'ol Texas Shootout | 3.56MB WMV
See this first, then the photos below tell the rest of the story...[Gracias, McGrath!]
 
  Photo 1  
  Photo 2  
  Photo 3  
  Photo 4  
  Photo 5  
 
 
  The Holidays are Coming!
You might've seen this first video. It's been sent to me a couple dozen times, so I'm sure it's made its way into your mailbox - but if not, it's one of the coolest things I've seen in a while. This will lead us into the holiday spirit, and then I'll let Yucko just tear us right out of it - because I don't want to believe that Christmas is only three weeks away.
 
  12.02.05 | Ultimate Christmas Lights | 4.83MB WMV  
  12.02.05 | Yucko the Clown in NYC | 4.78MB WMV  
  12.02.05 | Yucko the Clown in New Orleans | 4.60MB WMV  
  12.02.05 | Yucko the Clown at Sundance | 2.89MB WMV  
  12.02.05 | Another Treat for Those Who Get Snow |529K WMV  
 
 
 

THE ABCs!
Greetings - and good Friday! The last movie should put a nice smile on your face, hopefully. The "Let's Grape" movie is a re-visit of an oldie that the Good Doctor has been asking about. Always remember that cheaters never prosper. That's why the producer didn't cut to commercial, lady - 'cuz you're a big, fat, cheater.

When you go out this weekend, try to have as much fun as this guy. Or this guy. Cheerio!

 
  11.18.05 | Don't Run in Houston, I Guess | 969K WMV  
  11.18.05 | A Talk Show Host Laughs at His Guest (for good reason) | 2.89MB WMV  
  11.18.05 | For All of the People Getting Snow Already | 833K WMV  
  11.18.05 | Let's Grape! | 2.91MB WMV  
  11.18.05 | Now I Know My ABCs | 596K WMV  
 
 
  Veteran's Day
It's Veteran's Day in America - and time to give thanks to those who have given all they have so that we may enjoy all we have. I don't know if the first movie is the greatest tribute to Vets, but I've been hanging on to it for while, waiting for this day. For more information about the second movie, Unstoppable, and the men behind it, go here. The movie is 26 megs because I wanted to keep it as big as possible with 640x480 res. Thanks to Ruch for the initial intros to the site - and the good 'ol boys at Armor Geddon / Avenger - you could get lost for a while in that blog. The author, Neil Prakash, reportedly is working on a book. More info about him here and the first page of the blog is here. God Bless America - and enjoy that weekend you have coming to you - and remember where it came from.
 
  11.11.05 | "Veteran's Day Tribute" | 14MB WMV  
  11.11.05 | "Unstoppable" | 26MB WMV  
 
 
  Welcome Back, Baby.
I need sleep, so this will be short. Thanks to everyone who sent in all the goodies while I was away. I had several hundred messages to contend with upon return, and it's always good to get a bunch of Friday material in the Inbox. The last one is my favorite, and while it's a little on the edge for the workday speakers, it's worth it - just crank it, man. Wrauuugggghhhh!!!
 
  11.04.05 | Trick or Treat - WHAM! | 2.61MB MPG  
  11.04.05 | The Mighty Buttrocket | 1.73MB WMV  
  11.04.05 | Get Rid of Your Eyebrows | 961K WMV  
  11.04.05 | Tasering, Tasering, Bzzzt. | 3.35MB WMV  
  11.04.05 | Bud Light History | 1.35MB WMV  
  11.04.05 | Wow - Kaflooey Ooooey - Boom! (I'm very tired right now) | 1.75MB WMV  
  11.04.05 | The "YES" Man (strong language) | 2.20MB WMV  
 
 
  Bond You Ain't, Halloween-ish Flicks, Etc.
So, I'm going to be gone for a little while, so here's a bunch to feed the need. Savor them. Open the "Halloween" ones next Friday, ya know? The "James Bond You Ain't" has been requested quite a bit lately - it was my first foray into slapping together stuff with Windows Movie Maker - and when I look at it now, I see a lot of stuff I would do different. Ah well, it's still a classic. Many thanks to all of you who send me stuff - you ARE appreciated!
 
  10.21.05 | James Bond You Ain't | 4.32MB WMV  
  10.21.05 | Fight Fire with Fire | 4.49MB WMV  
  10.21.05 | She Kicks a Little | 1.11MB WMV  
  10.21.05 | All's I Got to Say Is-Waaaaaaah!!!! | 4.36MB WMV (Man, I love taser flicks)  
  10.21.05 | It's a BIG ad! | 2.85MB WMV  
  Halloweenies... so what are you going as for Halloween?  
  10.31.05 | Halloween: Chainsaw Morning | 1.89MB WMV  
  10.31.05 | Halloween: Scare Me | 4.74MB WMV  
  10.31.05 | Halloween: Scare Me 2 | 2.84MB WMV  
  10.31.05 | Halloween: The Rat Monster | 4.81MB WMV  
 
 
  My Deadline Friday
I don't usually have time on deadlines for the Friday Page, but woke up in the middle of the night here with a few minutes on my hands... Now, regarding the movie line: I don't want to see any democrats sending me e-mails bitching about this - just DEAL with it.
 
  10.14.05 | Teaching Assholes Strong Lessons | 2.31MB WMV  
  10.14.05 | Darwin Award Winner | 2.85MB WMV  
  10.14.05 | Funny Movie Line | 947K WMV  
  10.14.05 | The Beautiful Camel Spider | 1.83MB WMV  
  10.14.05 | We Just Stole This Car! | 4.57MB WMV  
 
 
  Another Quickie.  
  10.07.05 | Third World Bomb Squad | 1.26MB WMV  
  10.07.05 | I Can't Dance | 5.22MB WMV  
  10.07.05 | Borracho - for The Good Doctor | 1.51MB WMV  
 
 
  The Extreme Commercial.
There's nothing quite like it on television, and quite frankly, no commercial other than the extreme commercial interests me. You've got to get in there and whang, bang, smash something or get so freaky that it's irreverent before I'll cock an eyebrow of interest or burst out a "Sweeeeeeet." of acceptance.

So, here are some of the extreme commercials (and just some plain funny ones)... the first two are what I call the grandaddies of extremism - they're like Hemingway and Faulkner are to American literature - but I'm sure there are many others... hell, send me some! The last three gear us up for October... and I think are the best (for last, of course). Enjoy.
 
  09.30.05 |Pioneer's Audio Bridge | 1.92MB WMV  
  09.30.05 |7-UP High Traffic Area | 4.77MB WMV  
  09.30.05 |Baseball Lottery | 3.71MB WMV  
  09.30.05 |Napolean Dynamite & Utah State Fair | 1.91MB WMV  
  09.30.05 |Pelvic Power | 1.98MB WMV  
  09.30.05 |Always Better When It's Real | 1.51MB WMV  
  09.30.05 |Bloody Cuisine | 1.89MB WMV  
  09.30.05 |Just Watching the Game | 910K WMV  
  09.30.05 |Beware of Things Made in October #1 |3.00 WMV  
  09.30.05 |Beware of Things Made in October #2 |3.00 WMV  
  09.30.05 |Beware of Things Made in October #3 |1.00 WMV  
 
 
  Quick - I Gotta Gooooooooooooo.
Dr. Gregg: that second movie is just for you.
 
  09.16.05 | Let's Talk | 5.78MB WMV  
  09.16.05 | The Morning After | 1.42MB WMV  
 
 
  Are You Ready For Some Football?
It's a bit of tradition - starting the season with the NFL's Greatest Hits Clip. Couldn't dig up the Terry Tate's Greatest Hits project I did a couple years ago - will have to waste several hours looking for that this weekend. Also found the "Go Speed Racer Go" project - which is short, but worth every second... so that's here too. Should be a good weekend - with football starting, I can't imagine anything sucking about it - 'cept a non-stop crying baby, now that might suck.
 
  09.09.05 | NFL's Greatest Hits | 9.47MB WMV  
  09.09.05 | Jackass Football | 1.98MB WMV  
  09.09.05 | Go Speed Racer Gooooo! | 9.44MB WMV  
 
 
  Ladies and Gentlemen, I'll Be Brief  
  09.02.05 | When a Bird Ruins Your Day | 2.02MB WMV  
  09.02.05 | Bait | 2.72MB WMV  
  09.02.05 | Just a Little Too Close to the Wall, Eh? | 1.02MB WMV  
 
 
  A Few Quick Ones
First off, here's a great photo to get you started. I've stared at it for five straight minutes, trying to figure out the story - and have come up with at least three completely different plots. It's not quite as good as a solid mace-in-the-face, or a pepper-spray hose-down, but it's close.

Regarding the first flick - here is some more info if you're not familiar with the movie to begin with. Most everyone has seen it before, but this is a longer version I just came across- and there's some interesting aspects to this version (such as the "weapon" - that sure explains a bit more, eh?).

About "Crackin' the Jaw": watching skateboarders get seriously hurt never gets old.
 
  08.26.05 | Hunting Undesirables | 2.77MB WMV  
  08.26.05 | Good Evinrude Commercial | 3.75MB WMV  
  08.26.05 | Crackin' the Jaw | 2.81MB WMV  
 
 
  Time Doesn't Fly
We're all adjusting here in the 'ol Bruns household. I realized that all along I thought time was flying - well, I was really just getting too much sleep. Time actually moves standardly - there are indeed 24 hours in a day - and when you're the parent of a newborn, you will sleep only a few hours of those 24, and certainly not in a row. On to the show... and many thanks to Amzie, Michael, Ashley, Chris, Roy and all the others who have been helping me out by sending stuff in - this is definitely the time I need you and I appreciate it!
 
  08.19.05 | Hot Coffee Mod in GTA San Andreas | 2.88MB WMV  
  08.19.05 | Man's Greatest Invention | 1.85MB WMV  
  08.19.05 | The Mercury Mistress | 3.76MB WMV  
  08.19.05 | The Rocket Skateboard | 2.97MB WMV  
  08.19.05 | The Drunken Asshole Clown. Beautiful. | 2.93MB WMV  
 
 
  Kitchen Sink.
Here we are. Since I missed ya the last couple weeks, I thought I'd throw in a few extra. Keep in mind that I'm sacrificing my sleep for this. Sleep is a dear and precious commodity when you have a newborn in the house. (Here's a pic of the little guy in case you haven't seen him.) These are all pretty good - and long, too - so this should make up for the slacking off.
 
  08.12.05 | Hit. Hurt. Harm. A compilation. | 9.12MB WMV  
  08.12.05 | Another (Smaller) Compilation. | 4.50MB WMV  
  08.12.05 | Bored at Work. | 1.55MB WMV  
  08.12.05 | Hidden Camera (Real? Doubtful.) | 2.74MB WMV  
  08.12.05 | Use Condoms (An oldie, but timely funny.) | 2.55MB WMV  
  08.12.05 | Drunk Retard. | 3.68MB WMV  
  08.12.05 | Bad Cop. But I Love the Pepper Spray. | 8.81MB WMV  
  Actually, I really like watching people get nailed with pepper spray, mace, etc., so here is a call out - if you find one, send it on for a pepper spray party flick I will put together! I know there are a couple down below here, so please don't send me those.  
 
 
  Further Apologies (In Advance This Time!)
This first clip is not only entertaining, it's explains to my wife and my friend Scott's wife why Scott and I stayed up so late that one night, exclaiming that we wanted to race Rally cars. We were pretty damn serious about it (just as serious as the damage we did to the beer supply in the fridge that night) and when you see this movie, well, you will understand the intensity of it all. YES- we want to quit our jobs and RACE RALLY. <Cry like teenage girls here.> You'll never understand us!
 
  07.29.05 | Hot Screaming Rally <BOOM> | 8.42MB WMV  
  07.29.05 | Baby Got Back BABY! | 16.91MB WMV (yes, it's 16MB)  
  07.29.05 | Daddy Got Busted | 618K WMV  
  07.29.05 | Daddy Got Busted Again | 1.13MB WMV  
  Okay - the Daddy and Rally bit is kind of about me and the world I'm in right now... Mrs. Friday Page is about to give birth to Baby Friday Page. Therefore, Mr. Friday Page is going to be consumed with a lot of duties and activities that are going to limit his time. IF (that's a big one) I make next Friday's submission, look for pix of my boy. Otherwise, we'll all catch up in a few weeks. Have a great weekend - cheerio. - G  
 
 
  It's Good to be Back.
My apologies for taking two weeks off (didn't realize it was two weeks). With all of the videos that a handful of people are sending in, it shouldn't be hard for me to put this stuff up. I won't bore you with my reasons why (like my recent surgery, (< see that's called a teaser and is usually used to induce guilt)), let's just get back to the business.
I had a hard time coming up with a title for number 2, which you've probably seen already. This issue is a major one where I live. According to my lawn guy (Margarito), those day laborers at the Home Depot here don't do a lick of work. He has hired them in the past and most of them tell him that they don't know how to use a lawnmower! So, don't feel bad for these guys.
 
  07.22.05 | You're Never Too Old to Fight | 1.0MB WMV  
  07.22.05 | Taking the "Day Laborers" for a Ride | 4.82MB WMV  
  07.22.05 | West VA Hillbilly (not safe for work) | 1.81MB WMV  
  07.22.05 | Beauty Sleep (stupid, but I liked the scream) | 2.79MB WMV  
  07.22.05 | Quick Lesson in Weapon Safety | 1.0MB WMV  
 
 
  Gone.
Quick one this week - as I am running late for work. Yeah, even when you own the place, you have to go in. We are revisiting Ghost Rider's Hayabusa Turbo this Friday because the Ghost Rider drives like he is always late - and so do I.
 
  07.08.05 | Stunt City | 5.02MB WMV  
  07.08.05 | Ghost Rider <poof> (g-g-g-gone)| 12.16MB WMV  
 
 
  Independece Day.
Many thanks to the recent contributors: Easterling, Riemer, MacPherson, Compau, Koch, Dawalt, Killam, Benwell, Wolf, and others. I do appreciate the submissions. If I haven't used them, it's probably because I've either seen them, or have chosen not to use them for other reasons, but thank you for taking the time to send stuff, it really helps me out - especially with this baby on the way and looking like he's going to pop out here in a few weeks or so. My time to burn on the 'net is dwindling quickly.
 
  07.01.05 | Young and Flexible. And Stupid. | 1.89MB WMV  
  07.01.05 | Why You Don't Touch Snoop | 2.86MB WMV  
  07.01.05 | Chris Tucker Gets Pulled Over | 3.22MB WMV  
  07.01.05 | Hockey's Only Redeeming Quality | 1.99MB WMV  
  07.01.05 | Why You Don't Streak a Football Game | 1.90MB WMV  
  07.01.05 | Homemade Fireworks | 888K WMV  
  07.01.05 | Have a Safe & Happy Fourth of July! | 972K WMV  
 
 
  Reconfirm.
Earthlink amount is actually $17,898.98 and it appears that they have credited me back most of the money. They actually physically tried to charge my credit card (which is connected to my checking account) the amount listed above TWICE this month - once on the 3rd and again on the 5th. Sweet Jesus.
 
  06.24.05 | The Pimp vs. Hong Kong Fooey | 3.79MB WMV  
  06.24.05 | Tasering the Stupid (long but WELL worth the view) | 5.52MB WMV  
  06.24.05 | The Perfect Cupholder | 962K WMV  
  06.24.05 | FLASHBACK! GI Joe | 2.51MB WMV  
 
 
  Gag Order.
So, I'm in the middle of exercising my right to silence in regards to the $14,500 joke dispute with Earthlink and at this time, my movie idea might be a bad one. Let me finish the dispute with them first, and then we can talk. Let me tell you one thing, though, yesterday a reporter from the Wall Street Journal called me about it. Stay tuned, and until then, enjoy your Friday.
 
  06.17.05 | New Guy in Prison (gracias Michael) | 1.58MB WMV  
  06.17.05 | DUI without a breathalyzer (gracias Michael) | 1.87MB WMV  
  06.17.05 | Street Interview (gracias Roy) | 1.85MB WMV  
  06.17.05 | You got KTFO man! (gracias Amzie) | 1.93MB WMV  
 
 
 

Dogs & F-18 Flights & Blow Darts & Blaupunkt
Let's face it: these "Police Dogs" could be smoked swiftly. I mean, fight back, man, before you let a pooch drag your ass out of a van loaded with weapons, packed up and ready to go.

I'm still working on my explanation "movie" about the whole Earthlink thing (I haven't really started it yet, but I know what I want to do - so we're close). I'll try to get that baby to be Friday's submission next week.

 
  06.10.05 | Police Dog Training | 2.60MB WMV  
  06.10.05 | F-18 Magic Carpet Ride | 5.88MB WMV  
  06.10.05 | Blow Darts (Gracias, Kelly) | 2.17MB WMV  
  06.10.05 | Blaupunkt Pimpin' (Gracias Michael) | 2.74MB WMV  
 
 
  Smoking Chimps, Fourth Grade Toughs, and a Bad Day for the Sportscaster. Just a little bit of joy, with our triumphant return to the Friday scene. A lot of people have asked what happened to the site - and I'll put together a little something for next Friday to tell the story. Here's the skizzy: Earthlink tried to charge me $14,500 for "traffic overage" and when they couldn't get that amount approved on my credit card, they shut down the site. Fortunately, the good people at Hostway were helpful in getting gregbruns.com back up - with unlimited traffic, of course, and 20GB of space - which means we now have even more room for the Friday Goods. Cheerio - G.  
  06.03.05 | Charlie the Chimp Smokes Winstons | 1.88MB WMV  
  06.03.05 | Boom Goes the Dynamite (Gracias, Curt) | 5.41MB WMV  
  06.03.05 | When Bus Drivers Attack | 1.95MB WMV  
 
 
  Globalization. Or Globalisation, depending on where you are.
So I get an e-mail from this guy named Roy, who tells me that he happened across my Friday Page in the "deep, dark hours of the quiet night shift here at the power plant." I'm thinking that's great, since that's what we're here for - to provide multimedia entertainment distractions to people who should otherwise be working important jobs. Then Roy sends me a couple flicks that are definite Friday material and I look a little closer at his e-mail address and I figure out that Roy and his power plant are in New Zealand. A couple months ago, I swapped some e-mails with another Friday Page visitor from Bermuda. Man, this Internet thing sure was a great idea, you know? So, these first two babies are courtesy of our Kiwi friend, Roy.
 
  05.20.05 | Lorito the Parrot | 2.21MB WMV  
  05.20.05 | "Stubbies" | 3.29MB MPG  
  These next two are for my friend Big Al, who is getting married in two weeks. The bachelor party is this weekend. Ten of us guys are heading down to Mexico to seal his deal. The last offering here requires PowerPoint. It's from one of the aforementioned Roy's friends.  
  05.20.05 | Smartest Man in the World |1.91MB WMV  
  05.20.05 | Always Remember Who's The Boss |1.30MB PPS  
 
 
  The Phoenix Suns start Round Two in the Playoffs...
Whenever the Rockets & Mavs figure out who will advance. It is for the anticipation of the second round of the Western Conference Championship, I offer you one little basketball movie here for this Friday. This is it. The rest of the day I will be in my office, playing Counterstrike: Condition Zero on my new Dell XPS with a 24" Dell flat screen. That's what I'll be doing all day.
 
  05.06.05 | Thinking 'bout trying out for a scholarshiiip | 8.62MB MOV  
 
 
  Animals. Including Earl Weaver & Bobby Knight.
Earl Weaver was the manager of the Baltimore Orioles back in the 60s. You may have heard his "tirade" below before - it's floated around the net for a bit. This little clip was not actually aired - it was a joke Earl did before they went to record the show. However, the Bobby Knight bit - now that's the real deal, I'll tell ya. That's passion.
 
  04.29.05 | Bull Taser (Gracias, Nate) | 1.81MB MOV  
  04.29.05 | Flying Dog | 836K WMV  
  04.29.05 | Shark Fishing while Drinking. Smart. | 1.92MB WMV  
  04.29.05 | Pissed Cat. Very Pissed. | 1.50MB WMV  
  04.29.05 | Earl Weaver - Tirade (*CAUTION* language) | 1.65MB MP3  
  04.29.05 | Bobby Knight - Hardcore Tirade (*CAUTION* language) | 1.20MB MP3  
  These tirades are great and all, but nothing will ever beat the Paul Anka castigation, exacted on his band... original props to Ruch - I will always remember laughing in your house, listening to this - "The Guys Get Shirts!" - that weekend we came to visit. "That's just the fuckin' way it is!" --- "Where's Joe?" --- "When I move, I slice like a fuckin' hammer." It's just beautiful.  
 
 

 

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